Learning to be alone after a codepdendant marriage

fixingmedaybyday · 2024-10-15T20:50:24+00:00

It’s been a trip for me, but I’m finally starting to feel okay with it. I got a therapist, started hanging at bars on nights off from the kid, went to a lot of local music, took overnight trips camping and sight-seeing by myself in epic crazy stupid conditions and just talked to as many people as I could along the way. It has not been easy. A lot of alone time was spent crying and self flagellating, listening to self help books, journaling and talking to ghosts.

But, I’m doing so much better lately. Because of all of that, lots of people know me know. I can’t walk into a local establishment without someone giving me a big warm hello. I could never have that when I was married. I’m actually enjoying my alone trips, quiet nights under the stars and storm chasing. and it’s becoming easy to meet new people. Not everyone is chatty, but most are and it’s been really fun.

Remember, you’re only broken because you think you’re broken. Learn to love yourself, to be kind to yourself and to find out what you enjoy in life and in the company of others and don’t settle for what you don’t. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Substantial_Top5148 · 2024-10-15T20:34:49+00:00

Just start out small. That's really all there is to it. Take yourself out to eat at a restaurant. Or perhaps take yourself to see a movie. I know it's all hard to do, because I'm the same way. You honestly just have to pick yourself up and go do something. It could be the smallest thing like go to the hardware store and look around and then just go back home.

Yes I'm sure talking to a counselor or a therapist may help, but they aren't going to be able to fix you. All they can do is give you the tools to fix yourself. You have to WANT to change.

Go to a bar and watch a ball game. Talk to the person next to you.

Eventually you will see that it's easy to go do things as a single person.

MotorBoatingCFL · 2024-10-15T17:00:35+00:00

Get in the gym or start body weight work outs.
See a therapist, in person, every two weeks.
Learn to BE alone.

What do I mean by that......

You are in control of your happiness. NO one outside of your mind, body, and soul can create that for you. It's YOU! Always has been. Always will be.

Take care of YOU and people will flock to your energy.

Easier said than done of course.
The journey is long but worth it.

Read, in this order As a Man Thinkith Think and Grow Rich The Rational Male

🙏All the best! You got this. 👊

darealyst · 2024-10-15T02:03:34+00:00

Can you detail what being independent means to you?

Title	Learning to be alone after a codepdendant marriage
Author	Beautiful-Corgi-1064
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	October 14, 2024 7:51 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1g3ozgu/learning_to_be_alone_after_a_codepdendant_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/learning-to-be-alone-after-a-codepdendant-marriage.1532883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532883

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