Looking For More Advice

WartimeDad · 2021-04-15T13:42:27+00:00

This one is up to you. I would say that fighting at this point will spoil your future trying to coparent. If you just make the deal and save money in the fight and begin healing the relationship then ideally that 5% gets blurrier and blurrier. But it depends on you and maybe even more so how horrible your ex wants to make your life.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-04-15T14:13:02+00:00

> my lawyer says there’s no real benefit in 50/50 vs 45/55. Is that true?

Your lawyer must not be a parent. Spending more time with your children is absolutely a benefit. 90% of the time you spend during your lifetime with your children occurs before high school graduation. You don't get to make up time with them later.

misterhooligan11 · 2021-04-15T13:36:35+00:00

I’m heading towards a very similar situation, also in NY. It is my understanding the difference in the residential vs non-residential parent in child support obligations is very significant. One pays and one receives based on a straightforward chart. 1 child 17% of gross, 2 children 25% of gross, 3 children 29% of gross etc.

email68 · 2021-04-15T23:10:45+00:00

Go fo 50/50 or say you will give that up for something else you wanted, be she was not willing.

sicrm · 2021-04-15T12:43:35+00:00

get another lawyers opinion before signing anything

SzDiverge · 2021-04-16T17:07:51+00:00

If there isn't any real benefit to 45/55, then why doesn't she agree to 50/50?

For me - NO. Absolutely not. I read your post history and I would not negotiate with her. If I were in your shoes, I'd have all of her BS antics documented and be ready for court. I would not settle for less than 50/50.

45/55 means one less day per week for you to spend with your kids. WHY? What valid reasoning would she have to have to have the extra day?

NoBr0c · 2021-04-18T00:46:33+00:00

I don’t know if this is possible for you... but our lawyers did a hearing with the judge where they asked what the judge was likely to do with custody (50/50 or place majority). If you can do that, find out if the judge is likely to place 50/50 if there’s no major problems.

If so, maybe you can go to trial on just that one aspect. Or if she knows the judge is likely to rule that way, maybe she’ll agree without trial.

NefariousnessOk1428 · 2021-04-19T09:31:58+00:00

I always get a bit confused with the numbers in these situations as they don't seem to fit into a week nicely.

Might it be worth working out the exact split in time (is it days or overnights) going back to the ex and clarifying how this 45/55 would actually work in reality over the course of a 30 day month that would be 13.5 days to you and 16.5 to her. What happens with the .5 for example.

Could you go back with clearer details like the split based on a 7 day week or a 10/30 day time frame etc. This would clear up any confusion and possibly remove any points of contention after the agreement is in effect. Stipulate clearly how it would work. Pulling numbers out of my behind for example a 41.6 / 58.4 split based on a 7 day week giving you both clearly whole days/overnights 3 to you 4 to her, if you get what I mean.try and get the most you can but also keep it simple to lesson problems in the future.

Title	Looking For More Advice
Author	531n
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	April 15, 2021 11:58 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/mrd4et/looking_for_more_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/looking-for-more-advice.817237 https://theredarchive.com/post/817237

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