It’s taking me a while to accept the loss of my marriage but I’m finally ready to let go. I never wanted the divorce but my STBXW forced her way out in typical fashion. Days I feel guilty for my contributions towards the breakdown of our relationship but others are filled with disappointment that she gave up so easily.

We’ve been together for 17 years (since we were 16 yrs old) and now 33m and 33F. We have two boys ages 2 and 7 who are starting to express their sadness about us not being together, especially our oldest son. He’s seen us in our greatest moments as a family, and now it’s just me trying to save the marriage while his mother is living her best life with new friends. She moved into her parent’s basement 5 months ago and we split custody 50/50.

Background: The last two or three years haven’t been the best for our relationship/family, there have been a lot of situations which caused pressure on us physically and emotionally which led to us fighting and in the end taking each other for granted unintentionally. I believe this is where it started:

  • Three years ago she had a C-section for our youngest son (had one with our first child as well).

  • STBXW had a non cancerous tumor removed from her breast 3 months after our second child was born.

  • 6 months later she was diagnosed with Melanoma (skin cancer) which included a handful of surgeries that drained us emotionally and financially. Now cancer free and staying on top of her dermatology appointments.

  • About one year ago we were in a really bad car accident (on Thanksgiving 2024) that took us months to recover from.

  • I lost my job this past spring and was out of work for three months.

During this time she began working at a children’s emergency department, where she met her new divorced friends who are close in age. Once I found a new job, she hit me with the news that she didn’t want to be married anymore and that she no longer is in love with me. We spent the last 5 months separated, but I didn’t give up. Tried all methods to salvage things but was rejected at all stops.

Fast forward to this past week, she told me that she now thinks she likes women and is attracted to a female co-worker. During our convo she mentioned they kissed and have been texting each other. After she seen how bad it hurt me, she denied actually kissing and texting her, but admitted that was only said so I can let her go.

This was the final straw for me, but not sure if the pain will ever go away. Time to rebuild and be the best father I can be for my boys. Thank you for listening! Any recommendations or advice would be much appreciated!