Hey Guys, wanted to post and tell my story, so maybe the next guy isn’t feeling as crappy as I am. I find this sub cathartic and appreciate it very much.

42 guy, 2 preteen kids, just found out that I was being cheated on. Been married for 11 years, together for 17.

I am not without my faults but I feel like I’ve given her everything she’s ever asked for, and lately shes been cold and the marriage devolved more into a roommate that still had a heavy control over me.

Ive always been scared of confrontation with her, been scared to disappoint, been scared to say no. Now those same fears are rearing their ugly head as we devolve into discussion and negotiation regarding assets, support and most important, the kids. I know I should not give a fuck what she thinks, but I still do. It know it’s fucked up. I still find myself thinking of giving her a hug (I don’t, we don’t sleep in the same bed or anything close to affection since I found out about the affair) or thinking how it used to be.

To be forthright, the marriage is definitely over. There is no trust and I did find myself fantasizing about it being over a lot recently.

But I’m just seeing if anybody else out there went thru this and still had unease about confronting your STBX and standing up for yourself. I want the children to be comfortable around both of us, I want to be able to be at their events when I know their mother will be there too, and I want to make it out of this with as much of what is mine as I can.

Thanks again.