All,

First off I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read through my question, the advise received recently from the Reddit community has been both refreshing and invaluable. I have come to the firm conclusion that my marriage with my wife cannot be saved and all attempts to work things out have all catastrophically failed. I have found a reputable lawyer and I am currently in the process of settling all debts prior to filing. I would like to know from the past experience of redditors, what is the absolute worst my wife can do once the she is served. Our marriage currently features a lot of screaming and she has become violent with me sometimes requiring me to push her away. During our last discussion when I asked to move on because we are on the road for divorce because she is refusing to go to counseling she did tell me that if I filed she will tell the courts that I am violent and I was the one who has abused her and she will make sure that she is awarded full custody of our child. No police reports or domestic violence reports were ever filed throughout our marriage. Can she verbally claim abuse and would it stick without any backup? Can I do the same? In the past prior to divroce even be considered we have had some heated text messages were she claimed in writing that I am abusive and crazy, can these be used against me and can my text message be used against her. Should I invest in placing spy cams in the house “intent of security” to prove she is abusive and crazy? I have read a lot of horror stories on reddit about men who thought they had all their ducks in a row prior to filing and their ex just turned the tables on them through some technicality. Is there anything is should be on the lookout for? Should I even consider secretly deleting texts on her phone while she is asleep?