Responding to declarations and motions

upvotersfortruth · 2023-02-05T00:07:39+00:00

If you trimmed this down to your expectations and sent it in an email to your lawyer requesting a meeting to prepare before the hearing, that would be a lot better than waiting for users here to make you feel better by joining in kicking your lawyer. In the meantime, help your lawyer help you by preparing what they ask.

gnackered · 2023-02-05T14:42:21+00:00

I would come up with a blanket denial and copy/paste for most of the issue. Something like - "This point is categorically denied and lacks a basis in fact" - or something like that (IANAL). For something specific in facts like on November 1, defendant kidnapped me and the kids I would expand it and say plantiff went willingly and we had a good time at applebees or whatever.

FUMoney · 2023-02-05T01:57:24+00:00

I figure, for this TRO, we've filed a few hundred pages of responses and declarations and petitions in opposition, and I have a hard time thinking that anybody is going to ever sit down and look at all the awful and counter awful there.

The first question is, do you "figure" this has been filed on your behalf, or you know it's been filed on your behalf? Do you know for certain you have filed your responses and declarations? Or are you assuming you have? Which is it. Your post is most unclear on this point.

Second, you are right, a family court is highly unlikely to read hundreds of pages of documents and declarations, spending hours on a single TRO. These family courts are absolutely slammed. If they did that, their case backlog would span a decade. If the court, judge, and her legal assistant spend ten minutes on this, that is a lot of time. Family courts deal with a metric fuckton of evil stuff every day: child abuse, spousal abuse, opioid/fentanyl/methamphetamine/alchohol addiction, gambling addiction, real threats of domestic violence, kidnapping, and even murder and murder-suicide, arrest warrants, all manner of financial frauds and crimes committed by spouses. That's what they are focused on.

I imagine your counsel is feeling pretty good that the ex parte was denied. And if the answer to the first question is yes, your shit is already on file, then perhaps your lawyer doesn't feel the need to further burden the court's docket with more shit.

Third, perhaps your lawyer did you a favor. Rather than billing you thousands and thousands of dollars to read through piles of lies and crap, and then bill you many thousands more asking scores of questions about this junk -- s/he instead asked you to review it and simply point out the lies. That in fact sounds like an efficient use of your lawyer's time, as well as your money. Because only you know the facts concerning these declarations. Your lawyer does not.

So, given the ex parte has been denied, assuming your objections/responses/declarations are on file, and assuming your counsel is feeling pretty good about the upcoming hearing, your lawyer's request may -- may -- be an entirely appropriate, efficient response, considering time and client bills.

Finally, no matter the answer to these questions, do what your lawyer asks. Read through it, and I would type out a brief declaration in response to the pile of shit they sent you. Your draft response to each paragraph of lies can be as simple as, "this is false," and a very simple explanation or denial. Or, "this [insert particular thing] did not happen." So, prepare a draft declaration response, and respond to all the bullshit points they put together. Put it in a single Word document, ensure it makes sense and is organized, and email that Word document back to your lawyer. Now you are being a helpful ally to your lawyer.

So yes, I am telling you, assist your lawyer. Go through the piles of crap, point out all the lies and falsehoods. Respond succinctly, factually, honestly. Spell check it, make sure it makes sense, then email your lawyer, "here is my draft declaration in response to the falsehoods contained in [X document]." That's being a team player with your lawyer, saving you thousands -- and possibly even tens of thousands -- of dollars responding to a mountain of false shit.

Welcome to western democracy family and divorce court, where liars get paid by the word and lies/falsehoods rarely result in any meaningful sanction.

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-02-05T18:13:49+00:00

I expected that my lawyer would say,
"Look, this is the story you need to tell"

I absolutely hear you. I expected the same thing. In fact, before my very first hearing, I specifically asked my lawyer to arrive early, sit me down, and give me EXPECTATIONS (and I used that word specifically). I did not want to proceed with some surprise lurking in the shadows.

But my lawyer did the same as yours.

I have two thoughts. But they're just thoughts, not proven legal strategies. Just from my own experience.

First, nothing wrong with fighting fire with fire. For example, in Discovery, when my ex was asked a simple question such as, "Are you currently employed?", instead of saying "No", she would use the opportunity to respond with something like, "Because the years of intense emotional abuse I have suffered at the hands of my husband, I suffer from anxiety and PTSD and cannot work."

Just one cheap shot after another. And, of course -- OF COURSE -- none of it could be proven or disproven. I mean, how can she prove emotional abuse or anxiety? How can I disprove it? But most importantly, IT PUTS ME ON THE DEFENSE.

So, I took the cue from her. From then on, I responded in a likewise matter. So can you. For example, "Homeschooling was necessary because my wife was hostile to our children's teachers due to her emotional instability." Or whatever. Use your imagination.

Second, and maybe this is more like a legal strategy: Run your case. That is, don't develop a case for yourself that's merely DEFENDING from accusations. Develop your own case, your points, your strengths, your arguments, and push your case forward. Let your case shine.

There are some Protective Order hearings on YouTube. You can watch and get an idea of the tempo and the questions being asked. Your local judge may run a different tempo, but here's an idea (start at around 19:20)... https://youtu.be/rCCDtFonAaM?t=1163

Good luck.

Title	Responding to declarations and motions
Author	FlatZookeepergame268
Upvotes	5
Comments	14
Date	February 4, 2023 11:18 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/10tufek/responding_to_declarations_and_motions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/responding-to-declarations-and-motions.1150867 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150867

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