28M
Made a post earlier about finding out my STBXW was already dating a guy, has some arrests on his records and I actually feel like an absolute loser.

I knew it was bound to happen and hurt but jesus christ, this absolutely blows.
We haven't even scheduled mediation yet, there isn't even ink to dry.

I feel like I'm doing all the right things. I'm losing weight, working less (interviewing for a higher paying job as well), trying to get my finances in order, I've read No More Mr. Nice Guy, I am going to therapy.

I know it's easy to say she deserves the streets, but damn if I don't feel like I failed having tried to work on this for 8 months before filing. Damn if I didn't bust my ass all throughout our marriage for her and the kids to have the things they wanted. I didn't get a break from work when my mother killed herself, or my brother, or my aunt from cancer. I didn't just get to quit a job and stay home. I used FMLA for paternity leave for my son, but that was it. I climbed, and climbed, and climbed to reach 6 figures. I was raised moving in and out of government housing, my friends from childhood have already overdosed and died. I shouldn't be where I am today.

I get it, she got pregnant at 18, didn't get to have her wild days or whatever.... but damn that doesn't mean to drag me through it. Or to stop being a mother to our youngest (4).

I'm just reeling guys. FFS.