2 Months Ago I told her we needed to separate, she agreed. And added that if we were going to separate that we might as well just get a divorce, I agreed. Then she asked "what would that look like?" I said I don't know but I would think about. To which she added, "you won't do anything."

I went out of town for 2 weeks. When I got back I contacted an attorney and spoke with them about a month ago. They asked if I thought it would be amicable and could be through mediation. I didn't know, but thought so. They said find out and talk to her about it. That was the first week of the virus quarantine.

Since then I've planned out the finances and custody suggestions for her, but with all the fear and close quarters with her and the kids haven't approached the subject again. Things have been distant (no more than usual really) but cordial. No arguments, just indifference. We only really talk about the virus and the kids. Her narcissism, perfectionism, and controlling/manipulating behaviors are coming back, which makes me think she is getting comfortable again with me and really thinks I will do nothing.

Anyway, my plan is to give her the documents regarding the split (finances, custody, etc.) and tell her she has a decision a) amicable divorce through mediation and we can file together through the same lawyer or b) we can't come to agreement and I file and she does whatever she does. Courts are projected to open May 1st.

Questions:

  1. Is this a good plan? Or should I just file and then move into mediation if that is what she wants?
  2. Should I wait until the courts open to tell her?