Struggle

email68 · 2021-02-13T03:02:13+00:00

She doesn’t get to decide. Get a lawyer and stop talking to her.

Mavik52 · 2021-02-13T03:28:43+00:00

One of the biggest things men struggle with at the onset of the divorce process is reacting to every threat or condition that pours out of their wife's mouth as if it was a signed order. You need to go take space and get your head together if you are going to discuss anything with her. Get your head straight and realize that she is going to say all kinds of outlandish nonsense. Until a judge orders it, it's meaningless. Know what you want, make sure you are being rational and it's fair. And if she brings it up again just state 50/50, we can go over a coparenting schedule if you would like. And if she says anything else just calmly tell her that won't work, over and over again. As calmly as possible everytime.

Lou_sThighBurn · 2021-02-13T02:03:18+00:00

That's not 50/50. My stbxw and I are going to do every other day, alternating Sundays. And when my kid is older, alternating 1 week at a time. Get a good lawyer, she's being unfair. No matter what, you gottq stay strong for the kids.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-02-13T14:58:46+00:00

Custody is divided into two groups: Parenting time and legal custody.

Parenting time is measured by the courts as the number of overnights you have. Your goal is 50% parenting time. Depending on your state, that's either presumed or it's an uphill battle.

Legal custody has to do with who the final decision maker is for categories such as education, healthcare, extracurriculars and religion (the four most common categories). Never accept a parenting plan that doesn't define who has final decision making, otherwise you'll be spending tends of thousands of $$ in the future every time you don't agree. Considering you're divorcing, assume you aren'g going to disagree.

Realize that certain aspects of legal custody is more impactful than others. For example, if you have final decision making for education, then when the mother moves away (as they commonly do after divorce) the kids will stay with you. You can also add a geographic restriction to your settlement agreement to keep the kids in $SCHOOL_DISTRICT as long as one parent remains in that district. Do not specify "within X miles" or "within $COUNTY", neither of which is durable.

> She then threatened to drag it out in court.

Your response: Then I'll see you in court. Women do not respect weak men. Women respect men that they can't push around (look up "shit test"). You're going to be shit tested more during divorce than you ever were while married.

95% of divorces are settled before trial. Plan accordingly.

Routine-Indication-8 · 2021-02-16T03:46:14+00:00

u/email68 said it best. Stop talking to her and lawyer up.

vabab8 · 2021-02-13T02:32:57+00:00

Where do you live?

Title	Struggle
Author	Humble_Face_4600
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	February 13, 2021 1:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/liqlem/struggle/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/struggle.817439 https://theredarchive.com/post/817439

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