I have to say, this subreddit was one of the places that kept me sane in the last weeks, so I plan to give something back by sharing my post-separation journey here. And this is the first entry.

Quick introduction:

I'm in early 40's, married for >16 years, I've known my stbx wife since we were 18. Two children, 16 and 14. The marriage was slowly dying for several years, with both of us drifting apart more and more, until there was nothing left. She has already checked our several years ago and told me about it. My attempts of couples therapy and me going on my own therapy accomplished nothing.

Recently I've decided I don't have anything left to give and I agreed on separation, which she accepted with a relief (a sad one, bus still).

Yesterday we told our kids about it. We picked saturday morning for this, so that they would have two full days to process it.

The kids have been told that we've tried different things, but we did not manage to make it work and we do not love each other anymore. We told them that we still love them very much and that this will not change. I said that I will be moving out at the beginning of June to an apartment nearby, and they will stay with their mother in our house.

I said that we won't be seeing each other as often as before (as I work from home), but this house is still our common house, and the apartment I will be renting will be to their disposal as well.

We've emphasized that this is surely a difficult situation for them, repeated that we love them, and told them that there are no good or wrong ways to react to all of this.

Man, the kids' reaction was heavy. They took it silently, but you could see them dying inside. We've briefly talked throughout the weekend; me and stbx have checked in with them a couple of times separately, told them we love them and that this situation is surely difficult to them. And that if they want to talk, we are here for them. They're full of anger and fear, I can see that - and I can't blame them.

This was the toughest situation I've been in for my entire life so far. I know that time will heal this, and I am confident I have made the right decision.

For the first time I was able to talk to my stbx with no tension. She knew what needed to be done for a long time. I only accepted it recently. It's time to move on.

So yeah, this will be all for the initial entry. I will try and keep weekly updates here. My main goals for the upcoming weeks:

- be there for the kids in this difficult time,

- finalize stuff with renting an apartment.

Take care everyone.