Today was the day my STBX moved out of the house and the 50/50 kicks in with the kids. She gets the first 2 nights (2-2-3). When my two year old woke up from her nap, I could feel my heart get heavy as I sat with her and played with her. My au pair then took her to go get my older kid from school and bring them to my ex’s new house .. I could feel my insides crumbling. Once they left, I sat at the table and bawled like a motherfucker. I don’t think I ever cried like that.

I knew this was going to be hard but WTF. But I’ll keep moving forward.

Just to add so I don’t sound like some pompous fuck. We got an au pair just to watch our youngest during the day while we worked. Actually cheaper than day care. In the evening, I did the brunt of being with the girls… walks, playgrounds and bed time. I’m going to really miss not doing that every night.

Thanks for listening. I appreciate this group. And for the men that don’t get 50-50, that is hell. I feel for you because just going a little without my girls has knocked me back.