The need for a Better Tomorrow

Scoobeta · 2024-12-19T18:07:47+00:00

Understood. That is something I am working on. Just got my own account set up and am looking to move my paychecks soon, which will cut her off.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2024-12-19T17:50:59+00:00

until she gets a job I'm also supporting my STBXW

You need to put a time table on that (something in writing she acknowledges like an email) otherwise you're setting up a status quo situation - ie. when you go to court she gets to argue you've been giving her money and it should continue post divorce

Scoobeta · 2024-12-19T16:04:54+00:00

Thanks, guys, for all your advice. I really appreciate the love and support.

ExaminationKlutzy194 · 2024-12-19T13:02:13+00:00

I am very close to your age with a nearly 18 y.o. son. There isn’t a lot of that kind of stuff where I live either. So I’ve had to improvise my own methods.

I walk, and I intentionally do it in areas where I will see people. Maybe not people I know, but just seeing other people helps. It may also not be many, but one or two and smile and a good morning/good afternoon is sometimes all I need to put me in a better place.

I got a dog. He gives me something to focus on and a reason to walk. And occasionally he’s the topic of a conversation starter with a random person.

My money is tighter than I like but most of us could still afford the basic cup of coffee. I like plain black coffee anyway. Sometimes I just show up to a coffee shop, buy a cheap cup, read a book or scroll my phone, and chill. Again, I just see and take in people. Make small talk with the server. I’m not really looking to get in a relationship or even laid (though it would be nice) but just feel kind of normal. Hang out for 60 or 90 minutes and then move on.

If you don’t already, start going to church on the regular. Just take the message in and enjoy the people. Don’t look for them to solve your problem or start a group. Don’t try to unload all your problems on them on day one. But just be regular on attendance. At some point there may be an opportunity to volunteer with the church. Consider doing it.

The first church you try may not be a good fit, but give it 3-4 services before trying another. The idea is to become regular.

Once you become regular, people become more open. I like my church, and it was a relatively new change for me.

In addition to my full time job I have a part time job. If you have that time, find one that puts you in contact with people. Extra money and extra people are nice. And maybe do something different than your regular job if you can.

Alternatively, find a place to volunteer, show up, do the work, and don’t try to change everything. Just be a worker bee. You will do some good, meet people, and probably feel better about things.

Do you fish? Hunt? Hike? Bike? Find a buddy and go do that for a few hours. Or take your kid.

Last fall I had a lot of enjoyment going to the local high school football games. It was a big deal in my town. There were a lot of people and it was kind of fun. Almost always talked to someone new everytime, and I’ve lived in that town all my life. You could probably check out the basketball games too.

Just my immediate thoughts.

Title	The need for a Better Tomorrow
Author	Scoobeta
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	December 18, 2024 5:45 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hh74js/the_need_for_a_better_tomorrow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/the-need-for-a-better-tomorrow.1538922 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538922

Comments