Wow!

Scoobeta · 2024-12-28T03:13:17+00:00

I just want to say thanks so much for all the stories and comments everyone has shared. This has been the toughest thing I've ever gone through. I feel like my character, my intelligence, my strength, and my soul have been crushed (for lack of a better term). I'm sure all of us feel the same one way or another. I see here that all of us dads who are surviving are "Fucking Strong as Hell" and no matter what happens in this messed up world we have what it takes to stand strong for our kids!

jd385272 · 2024-12-27T21:01:01+00:00

Hopefully that's me in a decade or so.

Content-Class1259 · 2024-12-27T09:03:23+00:00

I hate my xw, can’t stand the ground she walks on, but, the kids are not involved, they need to show us both the same respect

Vollen595 · 2024-12-26T23:37:31+00:00

I feel this. A lot. There were no gifts from mom but it’s irrelevant in the larger picture. 16 y/o daughter, mom is gone but not out of the picture. Weeks between contacts, never sure where my ex is at. My daughter has been doing really well. Grades up, she’s happier because her mom has no ability to be civil to her (or me) and she’s been able to avoid her mom. Her moms problem; if there is no return on her emotional investment, she doesn’t engage. Unless she needs something.

After 3 weeks of complete radio silence, mom FaceTimes her on Christmas Eve. Mom starts describing the continued implosion of her own life, and my daughter is not really interested in engaging any conversation. She knows what mom did to destroy the family. Suddenly whatever the hell is wrong in her brain decides to verbally attack her own child over a prior, highly emotionally charged situation (death of a loved one). Immediately my 16 year old starts screaming at her mom because her mom had already -quite literally- mocked her daughter to her reaction to losing a loved one. This is the second time mom did this, wildly random and completely unexpected. I’m immediately in frame with ‘did you just call on Christmas Eve to attack your daughter and make her cry? Again? I’m still in shock and about to hang up and mom triples down with ‘you know I’m right’ from her end. That’s the final time that ever happens. I’m still floored my ex would pull that s#it on Christmas Eve. It wrecked my kid’s Christmas. She’s not upset, loves her presents and is still her usual sweet self but she’s hurt. And her mom is oblivious. We spoke a few hours later. I wanted to know what would make a mom attack her own child like that but it didn’t get that far. She was too busy complaining about her own life. I just hung up the phone and blocked her. She knows how to use email. Since mom left the house and I have custody, my kid has never cried except for the funeral of the mentioned loved one. Not once. Mom calls? Every single time but one she’s had a meltdown.

The presents. Mom said she has a bunch for her daughter but hasn’t had time due to current circumstances (better known as consequences to normal people). My daughter said she was afraid to look at anything her mom sends. ? Curious I ask why. She told me whatever mom sends her will just further confirm her mom has no idea who she is as a person. What she likes, or her personality. And sadly she’s correct. She would rather get nothing than open gift wrapped disappointment.

Scoobeta · 2024-12-26T15:28:11+00:00

Yes, I do agree. And yes, I did ask if that was what they wanted. I even asked if they would rather give donate them to Goodwill. I didn't disclose context that would have given more insight into my kid's psyche. That would have made for a long post. My kid did not have a good relationship with their mom to begin with. In the end, after my ex left and we had the divorce discussion. I sat down with my kid, and they told me I was being lied to by my ex. That she was having an affair, and my ex was lying to our kid about it as well. That was just recent like this past year. For the past 18 years, my ex kept the chains on our kid so tight that even when my kid turned 18, graduated got a job, my ex still trated them like they were 10 not letting them make their own mistakes, yelling at them to get up and get ready for work then lecturing them for 20-30min bringing them to tears. After she left, things were so much better for both of us. My kid is becoming a fine adult and can take care of themselves. What's heartbreaking about it is that my kid feels (and has every right to) like their relationship with their mom is trash. That's hard for any parent to see . It's not my place to tell them how they should feel. Hell, they chose me. Their exact words "Dad your the only parent I can say I love you to." I mean my god. So no, I don't feel that what they did was wrong, just heartbreaking.

regertsrus · 2024-12-26T14:29:56+00:00

that's not right and not good for anyone. You should not have allowed it. You should have asked your kid to sleep on it and come back later.

Title	Wow!
Author	Scoobeta
Upvotes	10
Comments	19
Date	December 25, 2024 4:25 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hm3pjo/wow/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wow.1539525 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539525

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