Trying to initialize a divorce with someone who consistently guilt trips.

ChaseAlmighty · 2024-01-31T17:20:17+00:00

Start seeing a personal counselor. Not church related. Discuss this with them. Also, use this time to work on yourself. It'll make moving forward so much easier

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2024-01-30T16:16:25+00:00

First, throw the guilt trip you are on in the ditch.

You haven’t been intimate since your child has been born? She is using you. You should never have to apologize for how you feel, if you are dealing with a well rounded adult. If you are apologizing all the time for how you feel, she is abusing you.

You don’t need to let her down easy, or reassure her of anything, you just file.

Are you sure she isn’t cheating on you? If she isn’t intimate with you, she is either intimidate, or thinking of being intimate with someone else.

wisstinks4 · 2024-01-30T01:22:30+00:00

OP, sorry you’re going through this turmoil right now. No mayors deserves all this chaos. And no little girl, especially deserves to see her parents in arguments and disputes.

If it were me, for the sake of the daughter and her health, I would separate. You can take time away to reset your mind and your mental health. I would focus on your daughter and yourself. try to mentally remove yourself from your spouse. I think it’ll help you get yourself back to normal. wishing you well in this situation. Be safe.

captainchippsixx · 2024-01-30T00:12:03+00:00

Pull the bandaid off fast. Get a lawyer and work out a detailed plan. Work the plan. Don’t file until you are 100% ready. Like where are you going to live and how is custody going to work with you in the af. Don’t let your daughter grow up seeing a shit show marriage. It’s better to be separate.

bk2747 · 2024-01-29T23:05:16+00:00

Im active duty, this is going to be very rough. You had no business getting married at 21, especially to an almost 30 year old woman at the time. You married a Pro who’s probably been in the military net for quite some time.

You need to be ruthless. She’s going to weaponize the child, probably tell you that you’ll never see her again and blah blah blah. Also, be prepared for her to weaponize the military against you. Don’t take no bullshit from her. Stop apologizing, basically, quit being a bitch, dude.

You’re worth more and you have your whole life ahead of you, she’s going to weaponize your daughter to use as leverage to keep you locked down, again, you need to be ruthless.

Idk your financial situation but you need to talk to a divorce attorney and get the ball rolling. I know there’s services on post but if there’s only MIL lawyers, they can’t help you in a civilian case. Pay the money and get rid of that damn woman. If you’re close with men in your family, lean on them for support.

Substantial-Ant-4010 · 2024-01-29T22:02:57+00:00

You need to start by being honest with yourself about why you got married in the first place. Based on the timeline, and your comments, your wife was pregnant when you got married, and you apparently didn't have enough conversations about values and beliefs. If this is a correct assumption, would you have gotten married if she wasn't pregnant?

Title	Trying to initialize a divorce with someone who consistently guilt trips.
Author	Rude-Chemist1829
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	January 29, 2024 9:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ae6huv/trying_to_initialize_a_divorce_with_someone_who/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/trying-to-initialize-a-divorce-with-someone-who.1244109 https://theredarchive.com/post/1244109

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