Weird feeling

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2020-02-12T21:15:57+00:00

"Weird feeling" is normal. IMO I would be careful with your wife bringing you stuff, if you live in a state that allows it, record the interaction. I say this based on reading countless other interactions like this that went poorly for the man.

I posted this recently in reply to another guy’s post and several guys said they thought it was really helpful.

Here is what I did and highly recommend to other guys going through divorce.

Lift, heavy weights. If you don’t have access to heavy weights, then body weight exercises and cardio. The idea is you physically exhaust your body, which increases good chemicals in your brain. It will make you look better too, which helps with self-confidence.
Start and do BJJ, Muay Thai and/or Boxing 3-6x a week. This will help you mentally as well as physically. Also it will help you be somewhat social.
Find some hobbies to do, old ones you stopped or some new ones. Guitar, woodworking, piano, dancing, yoga, stamp collecting, model building. For when you aren’t lifting heavy weights and/or rolling or punching something.
Start pursuing some alternate stream(s) of income other then your regular 9-5. I’ve started two. One probably won’t work out, the other one seems to be going alright.
Read books and/or listen to audiobooks...

Models
No More Mr. Nice Guy!
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
The 4-Hour Workweek
48 Laws of Power
How to Win Friends and Influence People
The Rational Male
Extreme Ownership
Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship
Stop Walking on Eggshells
Magic Words
The Co-dependent’s User Manual (The last 4 are if your Ex was a Narc or Borderline)

Learn to meditate, starting w a couple minutes a day and work your way up to 10-15 minutes. (This actually lowers my blood pressure, I’ve measured before and after. It also helps w obsessive negative thoughts).
Make your living space your own. Whether you get to stay in your house or have to move. Over time put furniture, art and other items that YOU want.
Get a therapist. You might have to trial a couple before you find one that you click with and you feel that they understand you. Don’t feel bad about firing them.
Reach out to friends and family to keep those connections alive or to re-kindle them. Be careful about venting to family and friends about your situation or Ex. That is what the therapist is mostly for.
Don’t jump right back into another serious relationship. Figure out the part you played incoming to the divorce. Maybe it wasn’t much or maybe it was. Figure that out. Be ok w being on your own for awhile.

SpearCatcher1 · 2020-02-12T19:48:54+00:00

Why did you move out--why doesn't she move out?

Nothing will get "fixed" passively.

If you don't accept divorce, try to fix things and make her justify this change. If you do accept the divorce, figure out your terms and start making them happen.

standishchurch · 2020-02-12T22:21:47+00:00

Weird feeling sucks. Divorced for a year been separated for 31/2. Wife asked me what I wanted to take with me or what I needed. WTF. Don’t want anything we ever shared. Nothing. You’ll end up getting a bed. It will be your bed. Not the marriage bed. This is important. Hope you don’t have kids cuz that sucks. Rips your heart right out. Good luck man. Remember you are good.

Enlightened-Soul · 2020-02-13T00:57:29+00:00

Chin up king. You’ll need to make it through this part because quite frankly it gets harder after this. Go through the motions, feel what you’re needing to feel, and always reach out for support. You’re in a group of people who have likely all gone through this. Dm me If you need a pal to bs about things with. Been 3 months for me and my pains down from 10/10 to 4/10. At the very least, it gets easier.

LandOnMyFeet · 2020-02-12T16:12:49+00:00

Be strong! Start working on yourself. Start journaling.

Title	Weird feeling
Author	jettjaxson
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	February 12, 2020 4:08 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/f2tfxe/weird_feeling/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/weird-feeling.818616 https://theredarchive.com/post/818616

Comments