I 45m and my 38f separated and divorced just over a year ago after 15 years. Together, we had a son who is now 13, and by divorce decree, we share 50/50 custody, albeit he's with me more often than not. After the initial separation, I focused on myself, building a comfortable living space for my son and me, and reinforcing my relationship with my son. I socialized and made some friends after the separation, which my son was never aware of. Currently, my relationship with my son is stronger than it was prior to the divorce. His relationship with his mother is strained as many of the issues I had with her has now shifted to my son. I do what I can to help buffer those issues, but for my well-being, I don't interfere much.

I told my son about 2-3 weeks ago that I was seeing someone and he may hear us talking on the phone. He expressed that it wasn't an issue as he had heard his mom talking to someone. I did broach the topic of him meeting her soon, and he pushed back quickly. I also informed his counselor of this as a talking item. Recently, I have completely changed careers and have enjoyed the support and help from my girlfriend. One instance where I wanted her help selecting an outfit to wear to meet the Compliance Officer was because there are specific colors I struggle to differentiate. I asked my son if he would be comfortable with her coming over to help, while stating there were no requirements for them to meet, as he doesn't venture out of his room after a certain time. He returned a resounding no, and stated I could go see her instead

Is there a point at which I force this? I don't expect them to have a fantastic relationship out of the gate, but I would like to feel happy at some point. I'm unsure how to proceed with this.

TLDR - Got divorced after 15 years, spent the majority of that time making sure everyone else was happy, met someone who makes me happy, 13 year old son is stern in not wanting to meet girlfriend, I want girlfriend around me even when son visits. At what point do I force it?