Ok, here it goes. I have been married to my wife for 3 years, in a relationship for 15 years. We have 2 you d children, ages 7 and 9 and she has one child from a previous marriage, 16 years old. We are both 38 years old.

She recently told me she wanted to separate. After talking, it quickly moved to her thinking she wants a divorce. She went back and forth on whether or not she wanted me to move out, at this point I believe she wants me to stay in our home.

She wants me to work on myself and she wants to work on herself. She doesnt want to goto marriage counceling.

Her initial reason for wanting a divorce was that it's life choice, she wants to be better off financially, take vacations, wants more out of life. I asked of she had met someone and she quickly shot that down with a no. Finally she did admit that she met someone who shes Interested in and shes now saying she wants to explore other people. She told me that this person doesnt know that shes Interested but I'm not buying that, I feel like shes been having an emotional affair and theres a good possibility it's already been physical.

She keeps calling me "babe." Telling me how sorry she is that this happened. Texts me while I am at work to see how I am doing. She wants to do our normal routine that we do like all the things with the kids, attend church.

She recently found a book I was reading about how to better your marrige. She said "I didnt know you were reading this, do you want me to read it too?"

I left the other night after finding out about the guy she was talking to. She immediately told our 9 yearold what was going on, in her words. She called and texted me that our daughter was crying and needed to talk to me about it. Of course, that got me back home so I could be there for my daughter. During this conversation, she kept telling my daughter that we just need time apart, which isnt true as she says she wants a divorce.

Bottom line, I dont know if shes all over the place and confused or if I am confused and reading in to things too much. I am not sure what to do. Half of me wants to leave right now and give her what she wants, as in divorce. The other half of me wants to stay for the kids. We both split everything down the middle in regards to finances, so she may be scared that if I leave she's going to have a hard time. I so feel as if she's not 100% sure what she wants to do.

On a side note, I know I havnt been a great husband and was willing to go to marriage counceling, 1 on 1 counceling and take steps to better our marriage. I know what part I played in our marriage to let it get to this point. I am now at a point where she has broken my trust, betrayed me and has been deceitful. I feel as though everything she said before finally coming clean about the other guy was directing everything wrong in our marrige to me. But I am coming out of the fog a little and starting to see clearer and feel like that was all to make herself feel less guilty about her own actions.

I am not sure what to do, how to act or what to think at this point. Any advice or opinions would be appreciated. Also, I am sure I left out alot so feel free to ask if it's not clear.

Thanks,