I'm done advocating for men

Mycroft033 · 2024-05-18T13:50:13+00:00

I uh, didn’t know we were supposed to be doing this for male or female approval, I thought we were doing this because it’s, ya know, right…

gratis_eekhoorn · 2024-05-18T12:16:52+00:00

Earning approval from men for advocating for them is probably less likely than earning their hostility, because of empathy gap, male outgroup bias and female in group bias, most men still can't their sex as a group and ignorantly think that they are somehow exempt from all the bad things said about their sex because they believe they are one of the ''few good'' men.

I don't want to judge you because I know how exhausting it can be to advocate for men when it's seen as acceptable to demonize them and attempts of calling out misandry is met with circular logic arguments and gaslighting but I must say that I feel disappointed that you were doing this for male approval rather than because you thought it was the right thing to do.

PeonSupremeReturns · 2024-05-18T15:42:59+00:00

If you should reconsider advocating on our behalf, think about the merit of the argument that you do certain things because they are the right thing to do, regardless of how they affect your social status.

christina_murray_ · 2024-05-18T14:48:57+00:00

Sorry to hear this… you should be advocating for men out of a genuine care for the cause; not to try and seek male approval- I love that you took misandry to heart and having another female ally of men in this sub alongside me :) Your mental health comes first absolutely but the fact that you care so much about them shows that you’re a kind human being at heart.

But I found this somewhat upsetting to read to be honest- disappointed that something that seemed like deep care, sympathetic, and empathetic attitudes towards men appear not to be genuine. I agree with other commenters that it’s deeply saddening your motives in advocating for men and fighting for their rights were primarily just to seek male approval- I’m confused by your stance. If the men you’re seeking approval from have an issue with you advocating for men; they’re probably not worth your time to begin with and have a deep case of internalised misandry.

This was honestly a heartbreaking read. Let’s say you were a BLM ally- would you stop advocating for black people simply because you’re white and wouldn’t personally experience the racism yourself firsthand? Of course not.

Imagine a man who was a staunch supporter for women’s rights, only to suddenly come out and say he was done advocating for women because he’s realised it won’t gain him female approval. As women, we would rightly take issue with that, because it appears as if somebody was only feigning interest in our issues to try and seek female approval. I think you’d probably take issue with that, and rightly so. Yet you’re doing the same thing where men are concerned. You admit to feigning interest and sympathy in men’s issues just so that you could try and seek male approval.

I’ve loved seeing your posts and I’m very disappointed by this news. I guess men are just pawns in your psychological game of chess; an audience in your amateur theatrical performance; stepping stones for your own benefit; instruments for you to play in your psychological orchestra.

You’re exhibiting a lot of the very same traits you’ve advocated against in the first place. I don’t think you’re a misandrist. I do think you’re a liar. And that’s somewhat worse. Misandrists make no attempt to hide their true colours, however bigoted they may be. Liars pretend to be passionate about a particular cause… only for their true colours to later come out and reveal that their motive for advocating for men was just to seek male approval.

To the men in this sub, I’m sorry that one of your biggest female allies has given up on advocating for you. I understand how upsetting that is- reading through this upset me, so I can’t imagine how upset the guys here must feel, but just letting you know that I’m still here; I’m still with you; I’ll still post. Not for such shallow reasons as trying to gain male approval, but because I genuinely care and sympathise. I dearly love the men in my life and having seen my dear partner go through two massive mental breakdowns where I could’ve lost him, I could never just disregard men and drop my advocacy for them like a sack of hot potatoes.

Sorry, I know this comment took a different turn to what it seemed like originally, but I’m pissed off. And I can see why many men in this sub may be too. If your intentions were insincere then good riddance.

Downvoted.

Maybe I’ve been unfair to you; I was just so delighted seeing that there was another woman on my side about how harmful misandry is and seeing some of the flaws within modern feminism (much of which is filled with rampant misandry), so to see a post like this hurts.

We shouldn’t be caring about gendered issues just to seek the opposite sex’s approval… we should care because the issues themselves are important to address, and because as humans, we should work together. Men and women are on the same team.

Misandry sucks. Misogyny sucks. Double standards suck. It’s always worth calling these things out. And do it because you care… not because you have some sort of ulterior motive where you’re only doing it to seek the approval of the opposite sex.

Tevorino · 2024-05-18T21:05:47+00:00

Thank you for your advocacy up to this point. I hope that your decision wasn't influenced by anything bad that anyone else said to you, and if it was then I'm sorry that happened.

I sympathise with your mental exhaustion, and I appreciate your honesty. I do think that the particular way you put your feelings into words here is unfortunate, because it does sound self-centred to a degree that I don't think actually applies to you. You were never obligated to do anything for men, and you chose to do so anyway, which makes it obvious that you care about others.

I will charitably assume that what you really mean is that advocating for men is an exhausting burden for which you experience much more scorn, from both men and women, than thanks. All of us are entitled to care about the quality of our own lives, and I would never ask anyone to make themself miserable for the sake of any cause. I wish you all the best in your future endeavours, whatever they may be.

Birb7789- · 2024-05-18T13:39:38+00:00

wish2boneu2 · 2024-05-18T19:43:54+00:00

I assume this is satire, do I assume correctly OP?

0ldMother · 2024-05-18T11:06:06+00:00

totally fair

NohoTwoPointOh · 2024-05-18T10:32:30+00:00

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya!

DemoniteBL · 2024-05-22T02:26:18+00:00

I mean, if it's mentally taxing you should definitely try to take things slowly and not think about it too much. I can definitely relate to that part. But since it's not really an "activity" and more of a moral stance, I don't think you could just quit it without changing your stance. Not saying that you should continue searching for misandry online or whatever, but just calling it out whenever you do come across it, like you would call out other bad things like homophobia.

HyakuBikki · 2024-05-23T02:07:14+00:00

Now I see why pick me like behaviour is heavily frowned upon on by both men and women.

Title	I'm done advocating for men
Author	CelestialWolf1997
Upvotes	3
Comments	24
Date	May 18, 2024 9:21 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/EverydayMisandry
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/everydaymisandry/comments/1cutdwd/im_done_advocating_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/EverydayMisandry/im-done-advocating-for-men.1518830 https://theredarchive.com/post/1518830

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