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Another huge problem with TRP (and any adjacent BS): it causes self-sabotage in otherwise good romantic prospects.

taquito_kitty

December 17, 2023
19 upvotes
/r/ExRedPill

Self sabotage: illustrated explanation

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Post Information
Title Another huge problem with TRP (and any adjacent BS): it causes self-sabotage in otherwise good romantic prospects.
Author

taquito_kitty

Upvotes 19
Comments 14
Date December 17, 2023 2:53 AM UTC
(2 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/18k7i5b/another_huge_problem_with_trp_and_any_adjacent_bs/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/another-huge-problem-with-trp-and-any-adjacent-bs.1240955
https://theredarchive.com/post/1240955
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Comments

[–]DangerStarfish 4 points5 points6 points 2 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link

I don't see a problem at all here, with her. He didn't really say anything about her specifically.

The guy who made this list, sounds like he is bad at sex and has some kind of weird purity hangup for someone his age.

[–]bluemagex2517 5 points6 points7 points 2 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, if she really has an avoidance attachment style, that's going to be a problematic thing if he wants an emotionally fulfilling relationship, but I don't trust this guy to assess that.

The sugar daddy thing could be a red flag, because it can be a coercive relationship.

When he says "none sex sugar daddy relationships" does he man she hasn't had any or that she's had some but that didn't involve sex? Either way, I guess she's open to it in the future.

All the other stuff are just weird hangups this guy has.

9 partners by age 30? That's probably less than one a year since she became sexually active. Higher than the average human, but not high for an attractive person in a western nation who didn't marry.

He also focuses a lot on her trauma without actually mentioning how that has effected her. If she's been through therapy and dealt with that trauma, she might have minimal lasting effects.

This woman has been through some stuff and seems to be doing pretty well. Hope she dodges this bullet of a dude. Hate for her to survive all that trauma only to end up with an insecure red piller.

[–]DangerStarfish 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have the same attachment style as the woman, Or that's at least what the quizzes online tell me. From what I've read about attachment styles... I'm glad I'm avoidant dismissive. I'll take that over the anxious or fearful style any day of the week.

When haven't relationships not been coercive? If marriage and pair bonding isn't a hustle then why is alimony a thing? Or to a lesser extreme why is gift exchanging a love language for some people?

And honestly, relationships aren't emotionally fulfilling maybe it's cause of being avoidant... But. I personally have never been emotionally fulfilled by another person, and don't really want or need anything like that.

I guess I'm siding with the woman being judged by the weird guy with the sexual hangups... Is because I identify with the woman.

And as far as the sugar daddy thing, who doesn't want monetary compensation in exchange for little to no effort?

Hell... I'd gladly be a sugar baby, sounds like a no brainer to receive easy money.

And as far as partners.. 9 is a crazy low body count compared to mine... I stopped counting a long time ago, I'm somewhere in the triple digits.

[–]taquito_kitty -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Attachment styles are not a hard science. They're as valid as horoscopes.

[–]bluemagex2517 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

It's a real theory of psychology, not pseudoscience.

It also has quite a bit of support among the overall current psychology communities. Not overwhelming, but quite a bit.

Obviously the conclusions of psychology aren't as "hard" as physics or chemistry, but that doesn't mean that their theories have no value or explanatory power.

They definitely have more validity than horoscopes. But, yes, a grain of salt is warranted.

Moreso, when some layman starts talking about other people's attachment styles. In those cases, such as the above case, in the OP, it's a pretty good idea to ignore them.

[–]taquito_kitty -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It'd still fit within the pseudoscience echelon: it lacks enough concrete examples of replication to be taken as "gospel".

[–]bluemagex25171 point 2 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Your clearly overstating your case. I don't want to argue with you about it.

Isn't not even that relevant to the discussion.

[–]bluemagex2517 -1 points0 points1 point 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, sure. I understand that there is a growing body of evidence that attachment theory needs to be replaced.

I personally think it's invalid, just like you.

That's not my point.

You're using the term "pseudoscience" incorrectly.

A displaced theory isn't pseudoscience. They are different things, and it's an important distinction.

Newtonion physics isn't pseudoscience just because relativity came along a displaced it.

Things like horoscopes, astrology, flat earth, young earth creationism, etc. are fundamentally different than an actual scientific theory that was accepted and then was displaced by evidence and shifting consensus within a discipline.

My other point was to temper your statements. Neither you nor I are leading psychological researchers. Most of the discipline still accepts the theory. It's still very possible that future data actually upholds the theory, or a new but very similar theory can avoid those criticisms.

Making bold claims about it being invalid is beyond you or my ability to make.

[–]DangerStarfish 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Psychology is a pseudoscience.

[–]DangerStarfish 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Psychology isn't a hard science either. And yet many people in this sub shove therapy in people's faces left and right.

[–]taquito_kitty 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I am not super fond of professional therapy. Many issues that bring people to therapy are issues that can be solved better by having a larger social safety net.

[–]chadlightest 2 points3 points4 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Pretty much any extreme ideology.

You find it in many born again Christians or other religious converts as well

[–]AdmiralAckbarr6[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points 2 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

100% fell into this. I ignored all the green flags and only focused on the one thing that made me feel uncomfortable. Perfection doesn’t exist. So many threads about throwing away an otherwise “perfect” partner over something like them sleeping with X people. It’s tough to beat but with therapy and talking to a lot of women, it can help to gain a lot of perspective.

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