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Can somebody link the article that disproves the 20% rule?

DefiantLiterature144

April 26, 2023

2 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Can somebody link the article that disproves the 20% rule?
Author	DefiantLiterature144
Upvotes	2
Comments	107
Date	April 26, 2023 4:10 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/12znptv/can_somebody_link_the_article_that_disproves_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/can-somebody-link-the-article-that-disproves-the.1216883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216883

Comments

[–]Afraidofmayonaise 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

[–]DefiantLiterature144 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]Afraidofmayonaise 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]DefiantLiterature144 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]Afraidofmayonaise 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]BillyPilgrim75 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Are you being obtuse, or am I (if you're being Socratic)?

I'm not a proponent of the 80/20 stuff, but clearly some men have far more sex than others, and it's not always or even mostly based on the men's choices. So if a man is struggling, explanations for his struggles that apply to all men and not just him are attractive. That's why they have appeal, and if a man has once given in to that appeal, he may need a strong counter to that idea to be rid of it and then believe it "doesn't matter". Your simplistic pronouncement may not be enough, as shocking as that may be to you.

And while believing that there's some systematic something at play in one's struggle can take away a person's incentive to look at his (her) behavior and to consider changes, sometimes there are systematic issues that are difficult or impossible to overcome. It's still worth acting on what you can influence, but our influence has limitations.

To the OP, #s are quite skewed regarding casual sex, but not so much regarding relationships.

[–]Afraidofmayonaise 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]BillyPilgrim75 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

OK, I'll step back a bit. This response is far more helpful than "so what", but I'll grant that even at about 125 words it may be more than some people want to read. I appreciate the more developed take, though.

And though I agree with the advice, I'm not sure there's a particularly clear answer for the OP. If he measures his self worth by how women respond to him sexually, he's probably going to feel less worth than he imagines the men who women view as highly attractive feel. In the short term at least less worth than those men probably do feel. And it's likely that there's nothing he can do to be that man many women want.

It's more than likely thought that not being THAT man makes him like most of us who if we are mostly decent people and find our niche in a social circle will find love and support from friends and will have some relationship success. We may even have a fling or two along the way. That's what most men experience more or less, even if some have a smaller margin of error socially and sexually. The reasons for that are ours to manage and maybe accept. Again, life=/=fair.

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[–]mc0079 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Well his Math is Wrong. If women only see the top 20, but then he states that 66.6 percent of dudes aged 18-31 did get laid in the past year....well then thats bad stats.

Also I know the study he talks about. Numerous issues.

No.1 You should never group 18-31 Year old's in the same bracket. It makes no sense from a social development angle. The age of losing virginity is trending up (which makes sense since for YEARS people have been telling kids to not to be a teen parent, longer childhood, more focus on grades to go to an elite college, helicopter parenting, college being the place kids spread their wings instead of high school) So basically your going to have the 18-19 year old segment drastically drag down that age group.

No.2 It gives no reason on why. Did a 24 year old dude just go through a breakup and taking a break? Maybe a few dates but nothing happened, is he misremembering?

No.3 Has he touched grass? Go take a stroll at your local Walmart or Target or local bar or chain restaurant. What I see if a bunch of average people and average couples walking around. I don't see just the elite 20% in relationships. See all the couples in line buying groceries...they all models? All rich?

[+]Petyr111 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]bunderways 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

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[–]spiraldinosaur 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No I'm not saying I was lucky at all. I'm saying that instead of following the advice of the red pill, I learned how to just be a good person that people like to be around. I learned how to process rejection in a healthy way, I learned how to socialise, I learned how to show off my best features, how to listen to people and hold a conversation, and how to be happy in my own life when I didn't have someone else around me.

It wasn't going to the gym, or earning a six figure salary, or getting famous, or standing up to feminism, or making myself more masculine, or whatever bullshit the red pill tells you you need to get laid.

And then I went out there and socialised, I made friends, I lived a full life that helped make me a full person that people actually want to spend time with. I used Tinder and Bumble and OKCupid and I used my connections to meet new people too. I've done all of it.

Am I in the "top 10%"? No. Because there is no top 10%. There's a whole section of women out there to whom I will be in their bottom 1%. There's a whole bunch of women out there who will consider me somewhere in the middle. There are women out there who think I'm amazing. They all think differently and I learned how to meet the ones who actually are interested in me, and learned to be OK with the rest of them who don't care about me.

I learned to stop wollowing in self pity and actually take control of my life and throw off all the ideas that I need to be some specific thing and have specific things in my life to be happy or to be "a man".

And I'm so much happier for it. Even in the times when I got turned down, or the times when I was single for literally years at a time, I still learned to process that in a healthy way. I wasn't lonely, because I had good friends around me and I made the most of that company. And it meant that when a new girlfriend/date came along, I was in a good enough place that I didn't put all this pressure on myself because I knew that if this didn't work out, I'd still be OK.

So you can either learn how to live like I have and how to build healthy, meaningful relationships, and learn how to be happy in yourself regardless of whether or not you're single, and learn to reject this imaginary hierarchy and instead focus on the actual people around you rather than "society" or "the dating market"; or you can keep choking on this bitter, bitter pill that makes you so resentful of your own life and everyone else around you.

What's it going to be?

[+]Petyr111 -4 points-3 points-2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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