I've been thinking about this in the context of shows and movies about women that have been victims of intimate partner violence. If you believe that women have more dating choices than men, and that women would rather choose an aggressive man over a boring 'safe' man. Does it not follow that you then can rationalize the abuse that a woman experiences by just saying "well of all the guys she could've chosen, she chose the exciting abuser over the boring nice guy and she's not leaving him so that's her choice" or "the reason she returns to him is because she's turned on by his dominant behavior. How is it abuse if she keeps coming back to him?"

I think that underlying assumption of greater choice and the mindset of "women prefer alpha males. Alpha males are aggressive to maintain dominance, therefore women prefer aggressive men and want to be dominated.Theres no point in regulating mens behavior since women gravitate to men who have aggressive traits" I think that might give a bit of an explanation as to the rise of people like Andrew tate who have admitted on camera to committing acts that I think most reasonable people would recognize as abusive. A man or woman coming from a redpill context may see the woman as choosing her situation as she is spoiled for choice due to things like online dating.

It is a slippery slope because at what point do we deny the agency of people who make choices in who they want to be with and are willing to ignore obvious red flags like verbal abuse and threats of bodily harm? I grapple personally with this because on the one hand a reasonable person doesn't choose to be assaulted or put down. On the other hand, do I risk robbing women of their agency by making what might sound like excuses for them making choices that other women do not make? Choices which may lead to them being in an abusive relationship? The 'the worst thing you can be as a man is a boring person' is probably the most pernicious part of redpill conditioning that I've had the toughest time shaking. I genuinely find myself coming up with a blank whenever someone brings up how murderers and rapists get fan mail from women but a boring 9-5 working guy can't get a text back. Because on the one hand there's the aspect of deception that abusers use to mask their intentions, but on the other hand I struggle to understand the mindset of people who return to an abuser or even get angry at someone trying to separate them from the person who's caused them serious physical and emotional harm.