Ex-RP what did RP do to your empathy?

lilchapo97 · 2023-01-30T16:35:27+00:00

The lack of empathy actually made the whole thing feel unnatural to me tbh. Like I would try it in practice and it didn't feel right. I ended up being a total jerk at one point, I remember realizing that one day when I started hurting the people closest to me over the littlest things.

RP targets socially awkward young men, and I already had anger issues to begin with, but I feel like it justified me being a jerk, just in a more calm tone if that makes sense. Like they preach not being emotional, so I thought my problem was that I was too emotional and not cold hearted enough.

Looking back, I feel stupid AF lol. At the time, I learned to suppress my emotions, including my empathetic ones, and I missed out on a lot of friendships and relationships because of it. My empathy never went away at the core, thankfully, but I'm in the process of becoming more emotionally secure with myself now that I'm out of that rabbit hole.

mikayrodr · 2023-01-31T18:39:12+00:00

It makes them into cold, selfish and uncaring people. Every red pill person I’ve interacted with is so inhuman in behavior that they are vile to be around. To know that someone can think about everything as a game and a competition… it’s definitely narcissistic and unethical and it feels slimy being around or associated with them.

Sad-Insurance3847 · 2023-01-30T18:36:31+00:00

The red pill at first destroys your view of women as these perfect, kind beings that is propagated everywhere which is why the first response is to become hateful and cold, but that is also wrong. Women aren't perfect, king beings and they do not owe you anything. Just accept that and move on with your life instead of spending your time watching red pill content and hating women.

You don't hate other guys for not liking you so why would you hate women for that? You just need to move on and treat everyone, man or woman, with the same respect you want others to treat you with.

After discovering the red pill I became a hater of womankind, but it was because of a lack of self awareness on my part. I'd say I grew out of it with time and now the resentment is gone. The consequence of this whole red pill "journey" is that the whole special treatment I gave women and all the chivalry is dead, but I'm a lot more empathetic towards other guys because I know what they're going through and usually the reason for their behavior.

debatelord_1 · 2023-01-30T18:56:27+00:00

I think I've always had very low empathy.

VandersonMedeiros · 2023-01-30T19:10:16+00:00

It's strange because I suspect that I do have ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder), and even I never really saw Red Pill as an irrefutable truth.

I do have less empathy for people, I can see undesirable people in pain and even like their suffering, even their death (for me, an undesirable person can be someone who defends moral points that go strongly against mine or even people who just pissed me off). But I still can have empathy for people I see as good (if I don't know someone and this person didn't piss me off, I assume he is a good person).

Red Pillers say that women cannot love men and I could never believe in such disgrace, the world simply wouldn't have a reason to exist. I believe in God and in the bible and I would never believe that God would create men to suffer for women who would never really love them for who they are, just for what they provide, and I would never respect such god.

RPllers also tell men to do a lot of things that I consider as abusive (even for a sociopath like me), things that I consider strongly wrong to do with good women, emotional abuse. I do feel a sense of be "dominant" in a relationship, but just in a sense of leading the relationship, giving a direction, and if the girl doesn't like what I am proposing, we can discuss and come to an point which will benefit both of us and not only she or me. Be dominant in a sense of protection, never in a sense of feeling like I am his owner. I really believe that we shall not stop doing things that we like just because the partner wants ("I won't play football because my wife doesn't allow me" and this kind of stuff). No one is my owner and I don't need the permission of other people to do what I want, even if this other is my partner. But I also believe there are some things we shall give up in a relationship, I am not so inflexible. If the partner doesn't like something, we shall not force him just because of ourselves. Maybe we also shall sometimes go to places we don't like too much but the partner likes a lot, and the partner do the same to us, everyone giving himself to the other in an equal way.

I do believe there are bad women, just like bad men, I do believe they really are "demons" that will do everything to step on you and if you don't be careful you will suffer a lot on the hands of these women (just like women suffer in the hands of bad men). But I cannot believe all of them are like that, I never believe in generalizations. Maybe the majority of women are bad (and so the majority of men), because I tend to believe the majority of humans are garbage, but there are still good people and I don't think is a waste of time looking for them (just treat bad people with evil hahaha).

*** and even if I have ASPD I did suffer for women, I did fall in love a lot of times (or at least I think I fell in love, at least for projections of the girls I made in my own head, projections of my own ego idealizing these girls).

JennaMTF · 2023-01-31T03:59:06+00:00

I'm not an "ex-RP" because I've never followed self-described red pill content creators. I did follow a limited number of primarily female men's rights activists. Who people would erroneously group with RP.

But I would say that my experience with the carefully selected voices I've chosen to hear, I'd say overall it has improved my empathy.

First off it did help me stop placing women on a pedestal as much. I really do love women, and want to be a woman, and consider myself essentially a closeted trans-woman, lesbian. Women loving women is really very much my internal kind of energy. But due to self-esteem issues, ive largely in the past treated women "too well" you could say. Treating women as if they are higher value than men, sucking up, "simping", tolerating emotional manipulation and abuse, etc. By default I really devalue myself as a man, and judge men more harshly than women.

Learning more about the challenges of my birth gender, and seeing women more as normal human beings that have their faults just like men, has helped me overall to be more empathetic to both men and women. It's helped me to understand my own feelings better and to confront my own biases. I was really quite surprised when I first started seeing anti-feminist content focusing on women's flaws. I previously white-knighted and defended women at any cost to a large degree.

I've never really been vulnerable to the current toxic "RP" mindset because I've never hated or had disdain for women. I've always tried to empathize and understand women. So it's really easy to reject any voices that might want to encourage me to hate them. Or in certain cases, pick and choose what is worth listening to from certain people. I can listen to a misogynistic asshole and reject 99% of what they say but look for those tidbits of truth and then research, ruminate, and come to my own conclusions.

I do think a large percentage of men would benefit from carefully tempered sources of insights into their own biases and shortcomings. It is easy to just say that a lot of people, men and women, should go to therapy to improve themselves, but in my experience therapy is not always effective. Therapists are human too and have their own biases to work around, some of them just aren't that great at their jobs, etc. That's part of why finding a good compatible therapist can be difficult. So I do wish there were more healthy, positive role models for men that help men understand themselves better and drive personal growth. Once they get some ideas about why their problematic opinions, motivations, and thought patterns are, in fact, problematic, they can then do better at helping themselves and figuring out what they need to address in therapy.

I may be rare in that I can find those insights in problematic spaces and reject the problematic elements, so I do think men really deserve and need a healthier path to take for this kind of self-exploration.

It really is depressing to me how polarizing everything becomes, how everything is politicized these days.

mina_starcat · 2023-02-03T09:06:41+00:00

I always thought I was empathic. But I really wasn't. I was questioning my friends and their life choices and it was annoying everyone and I didn't see that. Now I do and I don't ever wanna be that person.

Title	Ex-RP what did RP do to your empathy?
Author	sadgal999
Upvotes	11
Comments	11
Date	January 30, 2023 2:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/10p36yh/exrp_what_did_rp_do_to_your_empathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/ex-rp-what-did-rp-do-to-your-empathy.1150697 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150697

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