Explain me this

ditasaurus · 2024-02-22T10:40:29+00:00

Would you elaborate what you see as respect? treating women nicely? Anything you say screams abusive asshole and part of being an abuser is making your victims co-dependet on you.

So you are basically telling on yourself and maybe work on yourself before you torture more women?

Sound like you prey on mentally unstable women and keep abusing them and than wonder why the same tactics don't work on women who are stable and healthy.

Why the fuck are you proud to put someone into therapy and that they are so co-dependet on you. I would be horrified if I found out someone was in therapy because of me.

Maybe it's not them it's you!

spiraldinosaur · 2024-02-22T11:26:23+00:00

Women - like all humans - are complex. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to what women find attractive, what turns them on. What matters is how your behaviour impacts how they feel, that will ultimately decide if they want to continue engaging with you or not.

hundreds of women what I have interacted with, not one had raised interest if I gave her more attention, more compliments

No amount of attention and compliments are going to interest a woman who isn't interested in you in the first place. In fact they will just become annoying and a huge turn off. Turn the tables and imagine a woman you're not attracted to at all, but she keeps trying to give you attention and keeps sending you compliments. Are you now more attracted to her? Or are you just getting sick of her messages? Many women can smell a fuckboy a mile off, and "attention and compliments" are worth fuck all if you give off the vibe of someone who's clearly just doing it because he wants to get laid. They know that your compliments and attention aren't genuine, that you don't actually care about her.

I sent several girls into therapy and they still seek my validation

Perhaps those women had self esteem and confidence issues, perhaps they had a low value of themselves and your attention - however unpleasant it might have been - gave them a means to value themselves. It's likely they already needed therapy before they met you, but you just exacerbated the issue. Maybe they didn't feel good about themselves, your treatment validated that and gave them a space to try and prove that they are worthy, or it somehow suited their mentality about themselves. Unfortunately, perhaps these women don't have the same good fuckboy-radar that those other women did; their low self esteem, their lack of confidence means they're more willing to accept attention from someone who isn't good for them.

There's no single answer here. It's not that simple. Why each woman was or wasn't interested in you is down to what she personally wants or needs, and whether or not you fit that description.

Ultimately, it's often not about how you treat them but who you are - which in turn decides how you treat them. For example:

I really don't give two fucks about the women that had to go to therapy because of me

I mean this really says it all doesn't it. You genuinely don't sound like a nice person - neither from your original post or from that comment. You sound like you just see women as some sort of conquest, rather than actually treating them as other people with their own feelings. The fact that you would even be willing to treat women like shit because you believe you "have to" do that to get any success only demonstrates the kind of person you are.

I don't want to sit here and berate you, but you should definitely reflect on how you view women generally, and perhaps you'll realise that the problem lies there. You don't actually seem to care about women, you only seem to care about getting your dick wet. Some women can spot that a mile off, some women can't. Some women will immediately ignore you because they know, some women will fall for your intentional "withdrawing attention" (which is just abuse) and end up worse off because of it.

What have you actually done to make a woman's life better? What have you actually done to deserve any attention and appreciation from women? What have you done to demonstrate that you respect women - not just the one you're trying to bone but all women? If you can't do any of that, then you'll continue to see the same patterns you've already seen.

gini_luxe · 2024-02-22T10:48:02+00:00

This post is really alarming. Yikes.

undercovertrad · 2024-02-22T11:50:33+00:00

Sounds to me like you’re universally attracted to psychologically unhealthy women. Perhaps the kind of validation you’re seeking from women isn’t healthy either, which is why you don’t get the interest you want from women when acting in a decent manner…which then also calls into question how well-adjusted you are and what vibes you’re giving off that puts off the more well-adjusted women.

xweert123 · 2024-02-22T12:18:41+00:00

You are an abusive person. People who have went through lots of abuse tend to seek validation from abusers. This doesn't apply to just women, but men, too. I'm sure you can think of examples of men who still linger about and are unable to get over their exes.

When you treat women like "goals" and not fellow human beings, the vast majority of women are uncomfortable with that, and for good reason. They can tell.

If you took the advice on this subreddit as simply "Being nice and courteous in order to make women attracted to me", you missed the point of the advice. The point of the advice is that you need to be a genuine and authentic human being that treats women like how you would treat anyone else in order to form healthy and meaningful relationships. The point of the advice is to not try so hard with courting women and to simply form friendships and bonds with women in order to be successful with them.

But, you don't treat them like how you would treat others. You don't try to form friendships or bonds with them.

You either abuse them, or you try treating them like a hivemind that all think the same, and as a result, you try to do basic courtship rituals to win their hearts, and that is why the only women you have success with (if what you say is true), are women with low self-esteem that are drawn to seeking validation from abusers, instead of the majority of women that are healthy and normal and have standards.

You've tapped into a market of abused and broken women due to being a shitty and abusive person, and use it as evidence of the redpill ideology being true, and that's so unbelievably sad.

Chili440 · 2024-02-22T12:17:08+00:00

Cool story bro.

OnkelMickwald · 2024-02-22T12:33:53+00:00

So during my whole life I've never experienced what you're giving me. I don't know where you're from but lately I've realized that these things you describe can vary wildly from culture to culture.

I'm from a northern European country where A) feminism has been fairly strong for a fairly long time and B) people are extremely suspicious towards anything that can be considered "a social game", so I've seen guys trying to use red pill tactics here and fail miserably.

However. My wife is Turkish. After getting to know her and especially her social circle, I've seen more of what you're detailing here, and I think the reasons for this are

It's a culture of social dependency. Everyone in Turkey is somehow more tolerant of their friends' families' and partners' shenanigans, because it's part of the culture to be loyal and helpful and generous to those around you.
I've noticed that the ones who sadly often win in such s culture are people who are abusive and manipulative. Outgoing and abusive people are rarely punished for their actions in a way that makes them change.
It's quite simply a patriarchal society. Guys can get away with the wildest shit (shit that I personally would never imagine a healthy, adult person to do gets excused and glossed over.) While Turkish guys also often get in social relationships where they give a lot and receive little, I definitely think Turkish guys in general give less than Turkish women.
Turkish women are to a higher degree than men valued from their SO or spouse, leading to a higher perceived need to stay with a shitty guy.

That's my 2 cents.

Piku_2004 · 2024-02-22T12:44:17+00:00

The problem is that you believe that women would be interested in you if you give them proper attention and respect. Giving those things is a basic necessity for forging ANY friendship with ANY human being, regardless of religion, sex, creed, or race.

You, on the other hand, somehow believe that every woman will want to have sex with you and start a family just because you provide them your attention and time. They won't, why? Because THEY HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE. And you are only providing them attention because you want to get laid, you have ulterior motives to begin with.

Omega_Tyrant16 · 2024-02-22T12:20:30+00:00

Sigh People who have responded to you have given you very sound reasons as to why you may want to consider a re-think to your positions, and yet you still want to stick your fingers in your ears and pretend not to hear. All of your “counter arguments” are arguments by assertion. It’s clear you just want validation and to stay wedded to your story, you are not interested in growth.

I’m honestly getting bored of people like you on this sub.

Cautious_Vanilla8620 · 2024-02-22T12:27:29+00:00

Hey OP, just wanted to thank you for sharing your honest lived experiences even if it appears to have ruffled feathers by revealing some very inconvenient truths. Take clear note of how everyone ignored the content of your actual message and removed all agency from the women who CHOSE to date you, sometimes on multiple occasions.

I, for one, think that honesty and sticking to the truth are important when detoxing from red pill stuff. Gaslighting and insulting people who dared to notice that women can make bad decisions too is definitely not that and I'm sorry people on this thread are being downright insane lmao

gini_luxe · 2024-02-22T17:16:29+00:00

u/BurbNBougie

Title	Explain me this
Author	alpha_nutrition
Upvotes	0
Comments	53
Date	February 22, 2024 10:28 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1ax39jd/explain_me_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/explain-me-this.1246097 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246097

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