How do i stop getting mad at rejection?

TheRainMonster · 2019-08-09T03:19:24+00:00

I strongly recommend therapy. Rage to the point of wishing to commit violence needs help from a professional.

Internet paygrade answer: maybe you want to hurt someone else because you're hurting. Moving that pain and hurt to someone else isn't going to heal it.

ThorGrayV · 2019-08-09T05:33:56+00:00

This is not normal - please please seek therapy

No woman owes you a thing and women get rejected all the time too. It’s just a person on an app who has never even met you

Women do have good instincts and may sense your deep rage

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-08-09T03:06:14+00:00

Accept that no one owes you anything at all.

SmytheOrdo · 2019-08-09T04:42:58+00:00

dude wtf

this is deeper than just getting "mad". Like why would you even think that way.

impersonated_essence · 2019-08-09T03:44:50+00:00

Why are you angry that someone who clearly doesn't want you has done you the favor of letting you know that up front? Get over it. It literally happens to everyone. Other men get over it because they are grown assed people and realize that it's not the end of the world. You have the mentality of a 12 year old. Fix that and maybe grown women will actually want to spend time with you.

throoowawayaccounttt · 2019-08-09T03:01:49+00:00

Go seek therapy you fucking psycho. Seriously, before someone gets hurt

[deleted] · 2019-08-09T03:32:14+00:00

Take it easy.

markyp1234 · 2019-08-09T05:46:05+00:00

Or do this: get emotionally close to her by acting that you’re her friend. Get friendzoned, develop deeper friendship, and then ghost her when she rejects you and say nasty shit to her. /s

DAOcomment2 · 2019-08-09T07:32:19+00:00

You violent language is going to mark you as a threat and many people will just tell you to kill yourself because they would rather you disappear than figure out your problems. However, you're being honest about your problem because you know it's wrong and want to fix it.

Violent rage is an expression of impotence and pain. Violent rage is an attempt to become powerful when one has experience impotence, and to assuage one's hurt by eradicating what hurt you. They key thing to keep in perspective is that the girl didn't hurt you. You hurt you. Your way of processing reality hurts you.

You are easily hurt, which is literally what it means to be weak. You may be weakened because you are wounded by a hard time in life to this point. Your situation will not get better until you admit, at least in the privacy of your mind, that you have some serious emotional traumas that are weakening you. Then you can work through those traumas and put yourself on a path towards healing them. These traumas may have shaped your personality.

So there may be significant pieces of your identity that are not really you, so much as maladaptive coping strategies that are so ingrained that you identify with them. These maladaptive traits will hold you back from transforming into a healthier character. Eventually you may need to transform yourself by abandoning these maladaptive aspects of your identity, so that you can reconstitute a stronger and more authentic identity. When you've healed your traumas, they will not hurt and weaken you. This will help you become emotionally stronger.

In addition to this, you must build a resilient sense of self-esteem and internal value. You must like and respect yourself. This sense of internal validation is what makes you less dependent on and reactive to the judgments of others.

Positive self-regard is more effectively earned the hard way--by accomplishing significant things that are aligned with your values. Every time you set a meaningful goal that's aligned with your values, and achieve it, you prove to your brain that you are a winner doing valuable things. When you know that, no one else can tell you otherwise. People will fail to recognize your value, but they can't dent your sense of your own value. This is the point at which "rejection" just doesn't matter. A cool guy who has built a great life for himself doesn't even register rejection, because his life is already good, and he feel good about himself, with or without any particular girl.

If you'd like to continue exploring this path further, I recommend checking out "No Excuses" by Brian Tracy as a first step to taking control of your situation.

HURLTAEFK · 2019-08-09T09:53:58+00:00

If you ask a friend to come for a drink, and he says no, do you want to rape and kill him?

If the answer is no - why?

Maybe it's because you realize he might have other things going on. Maybe he doesn't feel up to it. Maybe you've annoyed him; maybe you haven't. But the key thing here is that you're able to consider his motivations. To think about him like he's a real person, with his own mind and desires.

Can you see what I'm getting at here?

roguish_rogue · 2019-08-09T07:57:25+00:00

You need to figure out what you are doing wrong so you can get from failure to success, one thing is likely your needy and angry mindset, you probably give off a horrible vibe at this point, girls sense that, its a survival mechanism for them, stop focusing on individual girls, maybe get an escort to get the desperation out of your system, take 6 months off from dating to get your mind and body straight instead of crushing your soul with failure, you obviously have no game and have unattractive behaviors that you need to fix before you can expect any real success with girls, you cannot fix the world or other people, you can only fix yourself.

I think maybe therapy could be useful to you, you sound like you are dealing with some serious issues and need to decide what kind of person you want to be. Hit the heavy weights and focus that anger into building up your body, being physically attractive will change the way girls treat you.

The person you portray yourself as at this moment in time seems more than just unattractive, you sound potentially dangarous, obviously girls should stay away from you for their own safety, there is no positive future down the path you are heading, you need to make changes.

UneAmi · 2019-08-09T12:44:24+00:00

It is okay to feel upset, but your level of upset is not normal at all.

DracheGraethe · 2019-08-09T15:30:27+00:00

My best guess is this: you're in a position where you're experiencing a lot of strong, negative emotions, and you are basically only able to process that as anger. Shame, embarrassment, resentment, self doubt, maybe even some true anger.... and often that comes to rage and hate because you're struggling to process and understand there underlying issues you're feeling/ dealing with. My honest advice is to get professional help, obviously, because they're the ones who can truly make your emotions more manageable, and help you actually feel better.

In the short term, i'd say that key things to try would be to avoid repetitive, dwelling thoughts by finding something entirely unrelated to women and dating and that and delving into it until your emotions cool, and trying to practice metacognitive reflection. Basically, when you feel those things take a step back and actually ask yourself, subvocalize as you do so to help process it, "why am i really mad? What else am i feeling? Is this anger based on a real and reasonable thought process or is it not, and if not what underlying issue or emotion is driving this stronger, angry reaction within me?" Then, think about your reactions and thoughts consciously, like you'd analyze a character in a movie,book, or show. By taking a step back and really examining yourself and your thoughts more deeply you'll help yourself get better at not being as reactive or even as upset, and might find out too if maybe there's more to this than just what you think. Good luck

Hanapalada · 2019-08-09T02:55:28+00:00

Wow... Maybe kill yourself before u go out and shoot a bunch of people

Or seek therapy

Your choice

Title	How do i stop getting mad at rejection?
Author	JustinMoarles
Upvotes	0
Comments	21
Date	August 9, 2019 2:53 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/cnwa76/how_do_i_stop_getting_mad_at_rejection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-do-i-stop-getting-mad-at-rejection.299654 https://theredarchive.com/post/299654

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