How do I trust my GF to not cheat after being redpilled? - im trying to recover and deconstruct the red pill so any advice is welcome!

Grappleheart · 2022-11-12T20:05:16+00:00

Firstly I would say yous should abandon group think and judge people as individuals. Because thinking and judging people as groups inevitably leads to racism misogyny etc because you judge some actors on the actions of others. I read through your post history and realized you are bi. I imagine the biphobia you face must offend you. Inevitably the women you have issues with judge you based on a group stigma versus what you as a person are. The same with your gf. I can't say she will or won't cheat but your beliefs should be based on her as a person, not on your group perceptions of women.

Secondly go to therapy if that is possible. You need an outlet to discuss your issues with this.

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2022-11-13T06:53:16+00:00

If you think of your GF as part of a big blob of some other foreign species, you probably really aren't even connecting to her.

Women are people. Would you like her to judge you with huge generalisations about how "men are"?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-11-13T08:23:16+00:00

What percent of women actually cheat on their partners? Red pill convinced all these guys that women are cheating all the time without ever producing any solid numbers to back up their claims.

EthericAssassin · 2022-11-12T20:05:54+00:00

Having been cheated on a lot before I realized what the problems were, one of the most important life lessons I got out of it was that basically we have control over very little and we're forced to trust the universe (or a God) a lot more than we're consciously aware of and that we are willing to admit. This isn't just in relationships, this is with all things. I have some mental health issues that occasionally cause me to forget that, but for the most part, I've just learned to try and trust my partners because I'd rather trust an honest person than to make an honest person feel like the bad guy because I have unreasonable suspicions.

Long distance relationships are so hard. Especially when all you want to do is reach through the phone, grab them, and kiss and ravage them (in the good way lol). They require the couple to go through many tests that will put them through Hell, but honestly, I think it makes them stronger in the end because a lot of LDRs experience relationship trials that otherwise regular couples don't ever or will rarely experience. I think this is what can really make quality 'power couples' too because they already know the bullshit they've been through and know they'll come out the other side of both are willing to fight for each other.

As for the reasons why LDRs fail, I would be looking those up and having those open and vulnerable conversations and address them each specifically and have each person say whether that's a reasonable expectation that they can adhere to. Also, setting a date where you stop being an LDR is really important too, because if there is no expected end date, that can mess with anyone honestly. Are you guys just flings or do you intend on some form of commitment? Have you been together for a while and this is the last difficult step before marriage? Ask and answer all these.

Either way, a former Red Pill man is going to need a lot of reassurances in this and it's best if he finds a woman that is secure enough in herself to have these conversations to give him the confidence he needs to proceed with something so difficult. Red Pill or not, a man needs to be able to trust his woman is going to be a good team mate too. Both of them are going to need to work at it, which means good quality communication is going to be #1. Fights are more common with LDRs, but not impossible to deal with. Planned calls are a good way to keep routine and to keep things good too.

I've done lots of LDRs and could talk for weeks on this and how to make them better, but I at least covered the vital parts. Good luck!

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-11-13T20:31:02+00:00

What's stopping you from cheating on her?

Artistic_Chip · 2022-11-12T20:24:55+00:00

Dual mating has been debunked/very little evidence of it. If you satisfy her emotionally, socially, and sexually her odd of cheating go down alot. If she does cheat use it as an excuse to be single/find a new gf. The only constants in ur life will be ur platonic, close guy friends and family. Not ur SO

Skepdren · 2022-11-19T03:38:11+00:00

Sorry to say this but cheating got nothing to do with the red pill. Even "blue pill" guys are aware of cheating like the redpillers. Social media fucked everything up, everyone knows that.

My ex is currently cheating on her bf with me. This is the first time I'm a "side dude" and it's crazy how she pretends she's happy with her bf on social media.

sinsquaretriangle · 2022-11-13T06:35:14+00:00

Buddy you are going to get paragraphs when you need sentences

SweelFor- · 2022-11-13T12:36:18+00:00

I recommend you listen to this video:

https://youtu.be/50jTZ4zwGZY

spaz77 · 2022-11-14T04:56:37+00:00

Easy don't do long distance. I fucking hate hearing about people in LDR thats no relationship either be there or not. These relationships always end bad.

sodeaira · 2022-11-15T19:50:15+00:00

Does red pill mean that a woman would cheat?

Unusual_Singer8798 · 2022-11-20T22:00:42+00:00

Im so glad for having my boyfriend....

LolliaSabina · 2022-11-21T06:13:36+00:00

You said you love her and would never hurt her by cheating. If she loves you and you believe she would never hurt you by cheating … then trust that.

My ex-husband had an affair, which is why we are divorced. And it was incredibly difficult to establish trust again in anyone after that. But while I was never involved afterward with anyone who did cheat on me (to my knowledge), I did destroy more than one relationship with my massive fear of being cheated on again.

At one point my therapist recommended the Brené Brown video on vulnerability. (It’s amazing — and she’s very funny too.) And I realized that I could do one of two things: not be in any relationships ever again, and eliminate the possibility of cheated on, or decide that being in a relationship was worth the risk, because you can never 100% eliminate all risk in a relationship (or anything).

I don’t think being long-distance is good for relationships but I know it’s sometimes unavoidable. I would try to see each other as often as possible, and find other ways of staying connected while she’s away.

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