How to become attracted to someone based on their personality?

ChicoBrillo · 2024-08-31T15:39:49+00:00

This is you trying to rationalize from the POV of your insecurities. I know because you're young and I've also been there. Unless you're standards are completely out of whack (wanting to date supermodels when you're shut-in neck beard), the answer would just be to work on your self esteem.

This can look like outward things: working out, getting a better haircut, getting stylish frames (if you wear glasses), working on posture, body language, charisma etc.

It can also be inner things like: Journaling about your insecurities, recognizing negative self talk and correcting it. etc

thrownawaytodaysr · 2024-08-31T15:37:56+00:00

It isn't a volitional thing. In the same way that you can't force someone else to fall for you, you can't force yourself to fall. With that being said, familiarity, frequency, and proximity are factors that can help you grow in attraction.

If you get along well enough with someone and really like their personality, frequent hang outs and exposure to the person can influence the development of feelings.

I've only really developed feelings like this with people who I didn't find unattractive. That is, I wasn't attracted, but I also didn't find their appearance repulsive. It was just kind of a muted feeling that grew into genuine meaningful affection and attraction over time.

But I would also focus on the fact that just because you think someone is below your standards, doesn't mean they will agree. Work on making internal self as attractive as you hope the other person to be. Because people with great personalities tend to be more attractive long-term than people with mediocre personalities, regardless of physical appearance. A self-assured and considerate 5 is way more attractive than an insecure and inconsiderate 9. (Using numbered attractiveness despite its glaring flaws to illustrate the point).

Basically, get to know people as people and not as future romantic potentials. Keep getting to know more people. Spend more time with the people whose personalities you really vibe with and see what happens over time. That's it.

You're only 22. I'm 37. You have a much longer runway to land in a relationship than you realise and you are better off investing in something that will hold you long-term. Plus, your framework seems to emphasise physical attraction but doesn't weigh personal compatability (but given it's a limited post, that's an inference rather than based on anything you actually explicitly stated).

I can't speak to other people, but I usually went years between relationships and it wasn't always good experiences in between. I learned to focus less on finding a partner and more on just meeting people as people.

Good luck.

SweelFor- · 2024-08-31T16:34:58+00:00

Why would we keep giving you advice, when you keep asking questions, and people keep replying to them, and then you delete them and the next post gives zero indication that you took the replies into account?

bluemagex2517 · 2024-08-31T15:31:21+00:00

Didn't you already ask this a while ago and then delete the thread when you didn't get answers you liked?

No_Voice_813 · 2024-08-31T15:31:06+00:00

Hey! First of all, I have a question. What makes you think a girl you're physically attracted to wouldn't reciprocate by default?

I get you have some experiences around the subject, but I think it's bad for your mental for that to be your default.

And to go more directly to your question. I think one huge tip is to find people you genuinely enjoy spending time with, and that genuinely enjoy spending time with you.

Even if you find them unattractive at first, this is would be a great mindset on which to engage and nurture your relationships.

Be them friendships, romantic or sexual.

Best wishes. You got this king 👑

kingpinkatya · 2024-08-31T22:00:31+00:00

Do you have any female friends? Understanding the value of non-sexual female companionship and figuring out the traits you admire in your friends will help you value their personalities and the personalities of others in the future

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2024-08-31T22:05:36+00:00

My question is as to how people become attracted to someone over time based on their personality and stuff? I don't how to do that. I'm 22M, will it require me to mature further to become that sort of person?

I’m 55M and never matured into that sort of person. From what this sub says it’s supposed to be like friendship turning into attraction, or something like that. If you figure it out, let us know.

No_Voice_813 · 2024-08-31T16:24:22+00:00

Well first off, money and fame are nice but they're more of an addon IMO. Its hard for me to comment further, since I don't know you personally, but I can tell you this: -Developing confidence should be high on your priorities

And as for developing attraction, it usually happens naturally. Im sure you will experience something like this at some point in your life, if you haven't already.

I hope this was helpful Best wishes king 👑

Title	How to become attracted to someone based on their personality?
Author	MassiveCatHead
Upvotes	2
Comments	14
Date	August 31, 2024 3:05 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1f5pe2a/how_to_become_attracted_to_someone_based_on_their/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-become-attracted-to-someone-based-on-their.1528958 https://theredarchive.com/post/1528958

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