The blank canvas technique.

1: When you interact with others, start by viewing them as a blank canvas.

2: As they speak share their thoughts emote their emotions and act towards you, imagine that canvas being filled in as if you were on their journey.

3: Don’t judge their journey even if you think they could be lying. Simply be present and allow yourself to see what they want you to see. Besides empathy is a liars kryptonite.

4: If there are times you cannot understand how they may feel think or act, probe further or do perception checks.

Example.

I am sorry to hear you had to go through that. If that was me, I would have a hard time going through it to. If you don’t mind sharing though can you tell me one good thing you learned from this negative experience?

I can see how that event would make you sad. It’s almost as if you (insert assumption of thought feeling action here) Is this an accurate perception of what you went through?

5: To gain more trust and create further connection react in a way that shows you understand by relating to their thoughts feelings or actions.

Example:

Your doctor should be in a circus as they are clearly a clown. How dare they have the audacity to treat you that way and disregard your concerns about your pain. Next time punch them out and then when they complain about the pain gaslight them too.

(Above is great for allowing people to vent)

6: Once they have shared, start painting your canvas. (You’ll build s faster connection if the examples you relate to our examples similar or identical to theirs as it shows you are actively listening)

7: Allow the person to be seen to be heard and to have their perception validated.

8: The more you do the above the more people will open up so make sure to add moments were you can make people feel better about themselves or relieve tension etc.

9: Sometimes you may have to do research to fully empathize.

The first time I dated a women I read up on the menstrual cycle; looked at other women talking about it than transreferennicg those things to very similar experiences of my own.

When I relayed this info back empathetically my girlfriends always comment how they think I was a women in a past life.

10: If you are really present you can feel another persons energy as well as physiological signs like heart rate breathing etc.

Don’t be surprised if people also say you can read their mind.

Empathy is a skill but like any skill it can be learned.

The goal of the above is to simply ask.

If I was so and do in this body experiencing this thing could I see myself acting the way they did or how would I act.

Once you master empathy you literally have the key to interact with anyone as you’ll know exactly how that person works and what you can do to grow them closer to you or protect yourself from harm.