How to stop building future in my head?

boyraceruk · 2021-11-30T22:13:59+00:00

Just realise that it's at best a shared future that will require her input. Once you learn to start listening you're going to be starting with an advantage over most guys.

PJ_GRE · 2021-11-30T22:16:19+00:00

This is normal. Everyone imagines a future. Just be prepared to not be reciprocated. You need to find a girl with your same vision.

lunonee · 2021-12-01T01:25:02+00:00

Abundance mindset

luridlurker · 2021-11-30T22:15:03+00:00

And later on when it turns out that a girl is not down to my plan I become extremely disappointed and feel a huge depression which lasts until I meet another girl. Then I have a brief moment of placidity and after that the story repeats itself.

I think this is very natural, and to some degree, you don't want to squelch this completely. It's good to daydream and know what you want and like....

But recognize that you don't know enough about another person to know if they fit in the picture you built or if it meets their needs and matches their dreams.

Keeping that in mind and working towards being curious about what the other person actually wants will help keep you grounded in reality. Seeking input early and often from them and adjusting your dreams/plans as you get info from them will prevent you from objectifying the other person and seeing them as just some sort of perfect doll for your make believe world. Learning more about them will help you realize it wasn't a future that was shattered if you're turned down, but rather something that never was.

dabdaddy23 · 2021-12-01T03:29:16+00:00

I’ve done this with every relationship I’ve ever been in, it’s really easier said then done (and it’s not easily done). Just gotta lower your expectations, not everyone’s goal is to build relationships for the future a lot of people are more focused on the now

youtubeisdariusblaze · 2021-12-01T03:47:48+00:00

I’ve done this, I think it’s natural human nature. Be willing to compromise & realize being single isn’t the end of the world. If you find “ the one” that’s great if not it is what it is. Enjoy your life, love yourself & be the best you can be.

lonestarhe · 2021-12-01T06:40:49+00:00

Our has to be urs 1st

Ex. Ur future before our future!

-if you don’t have a future how can y’all? 🔐= Increase productivity and efficiency!⭐️

vcreativ · 2021-12-01T14:11:53+00:00

Simply put, you're using (really consuming) girls as a means to build a relationship with yourself.

So take the girls out of the equation and focus building a proper connection with yourself first. Then you don't need to fantasise about others behaving any which way you might like.

Then you don't need others to self-actualise, and can see them for what they are, specifically not you.

This will take time.

Title	How to stop building future in my head?
Author	47Gb
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	November 30, 2021 9:42 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/r5y8fk/how_to_stop_building_future_in_my_head/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-stop-building-future-in-my-head.1089447 https://theredarchive.com/post/1089447

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