This isnt really a question, but I just feel sad today so I just wanted to post what I went through so that maybe someone could relate to me.

My ex became radicalised in his teens whilst we were together, during that time he did every trick in the red pill book. At the time I had no idea of redpill or the manosphere, and he made absolutely 0 indication of his disdain or mistrust of women. But I still felt that he was very robotic and unnatural in the way he acted, sometimes it felt like he would punish me, but I would brush it off as he would play dumb but I couldn't put my finger on it till discovering RP. The posts on the RP archive that were made during the time of our relationship, indicate that he was taking a lot of inspiration from field reports. It has been a few years now but I still feel traumatised, I was just a teenager when he first started learning about rp tactics and it makes me feel so ill that he felt the need to do all of this. None of my actions in the 8 years I knew him warranted or justified any of this abuse at all, I still feel sick to my stomach thinking of the fact that we grew up together, and during this time he was reading up ways to toy with me, manipulate me, ghost me, punish me, dreadgame me etc. Since finding out about RP, I haven't spoken to him about it and I've never confronted him - I know how that conversation will go, theres no point in it. His smear campaign of me has gone on for a few years now, and I'm starting to feel worn out, I wish I could just feel justice from this situation.