Isn’t it crazy?

lilycamilly · 2023-03-20T17:54:57+00:00

Therapy therapy therapy, my friend. Your brain has wired itself to associate youth with value. It will take active work to rewire yourself so you no longer feel that way.

Exis007 · 2023-03-20T17:15:16+00:00

Did you know color words are different in different languages? For example, a lot of languages consider light and dark blue to be different colors. They aren't both blue, they are distinct colors, the way we believe pink and red to be their own colors. Someone once said, and I wish I could remember who, that if society is the building we might think about language as the blue print. We think, our thoughts are constrained, by the terms we're given.

One of the ways high control groups function is they love to give you a lot of jargon. They make their own neologisms and coin a lot of terminologies because they know (consciously or unconsciously) that having words for their concepts is very powerful. Once you have the language, you can think about things in their specific terms and that keeps you tethered to an ideology. You've been introduced to this paradigm and now that you have the language, you're thinking in it.

But you don't have to.

This isn't a truth vs. fiction debate here. I'm not even getting into the argument of whether 'The Wall' is an idea that has merit or not. But your perception makes your reality. If you think you've hit the wall, it doesn't really matter whether I think that's true or not, false or not. It will be true to you because you're thinking in those terms.

This isn't a /r/thanksimcured thing. I don't think you're going to abandon this ideology and be blissfully happy in an instant. I just think you can let go of the idea that you need to find the hidden value or truth in some ideological structure that isn't serving you, that doesn't make you feel good. You don't have to debate that there might be some merit, some element of truth that might resonate, for you to say, "Yeah, but fuck that actually, this doesn't improve my life and I am leaving it where I found it". You're the one who has to live your life, you get to decide the tools you use to do that. Leave unhelpful bullshit that drags you down where you found it. It's true that one day the sun will burn out and the entirety of the human endeavor will crumble into dust, but fixating on that isn't super useful to me. So I don't. You can frame yourself as having lost some ineffable value or worth, or you can focus on how you're exactly where you need to be, doing exactly what you need to be doing. Or, hell, you can focus on what you do want, what your next set of goals are, where you want to be in five years. Your inner frame of things matters a lot more than we give it credit for.

Just some food for thought.

CptHappyOrange · 2023-03-20T20:40:28+00:00

I see you post and comment around here a lot, mainly talking about "The Wall".

At this point, I think it'd be most beneficial to you if you got off the internet and started *living*.

Get therapy.

Find new hobbies or dive back into your older ones that you used to do with the time you now spend worrying.

Start exercising. Anything, really. Running, swimming, hiking, the gym, hell, even simply walking for an hour everyday around the park, or the woods if there are any in your area.

Get in the car and start driving around, blasting your favorite music and singing your heart out.

Call some old friends and plan a get-together.

Start reading for recreational purposes (although I'd avoid romance novels because then you'd start thinking about relationships again and you probably don't want that). Fantasy works best for me (Harry Potter, LOTR, The Witcher, etc).

This is a more or less lengthy process, but gradually, you will start leaving these worries and anxieties behind. 30 is not an age to be bitter and think about being "expired". Stop consuming content that poisons your mind further and start healing. And, who knows, maybe when you're out, living and enjoying your life you're going to find a man who will see you for who you are and will want to spend and enjoy your lives together.

TL;DR: get off the damn internet and start living your life.

-AlwaysBored- · 2023-03-20T20:42:43+00:00

The first step is stop tying value to your looks or age. No woman is more worthy or valuable because of how young she is. This is the first thing you'd need to discuss with a therapist. I promise your life will get a million times better after this. This world is designed for you to hate yourself and pick at everything in how you look and act, the sooner you free yourself from this expecation that literally nobody can meet (there will always be sething that makes them "not good enough"), the sooner you can be a happier person.

Also, to add to this: The men who consider yout too old or that you "hit a wall" are exactly the kind of men you wouldnt want to be in a relationships with. They woudnt value you as a person, not think of you as an equal, barely even a partner. Its actually a tremendous benefit to not have to worry about the likes of them in your dating life. The chances of you meeting a great partner are now higher than the've ever been.

ResistPrestigious373 · 2023-03-21T01:04:22+00:00

It's honestly just a bunch of cover for abusers. Men like this want young women they can "train" that are less likely to question them.

The sexual value of a woman dropping at 30 is a huge myth. In my experience it's the opposite. I had my first child at 23, 2nd at 28( we tried for a few months for her), and got back to back pregnant in my 30s. I got pregnant 3 times in less than 3 years, in my 30s. I'm now 36 and currently pregnant, again... without trying. It's all a bunch of bs to scare women into submission.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2023-03-20T21:40:54+00:00

Lots of women in your position seem to be enjoying their life as a single woman. Perhaps you can talk to some of them? Also, what do you really want? Do you want a man? Or do you value independence? It sounds like you aren’t sure of what you want.

Look, I get it. It’s really hard to see others doing something different and to not feel that you missed out or whatever. As a man, I’m not sure if I would have been less miserable married or single , but I probably would be miserable either way, for different reasons.

In the end, if you really want a relationship, it’s not too late.

penguintransformer · 2023-03-21T04:07:50+00:00

The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Your married friends seem happy for now.....until they start cheating because they're miserable. Having kids is a blessing, until you realize you can barely afford them and lose part of yourself because raising children involves sacrifices. You're only 30. I'm only 32 and in a similar position. You WILL meet a man that actually values women and will value you.

biscottigelato · 2023-03-26T09:27:03+00:00

Red pill is just about sexual chances, nothing else. Age does matter if people want to have children. Otherwise age is indeed just a number.

Also, you can be Nobel prize winning and saved millions of people but not desired in the dating market. They are orthogonal, especially for the ladies (which can be a pro if you aren’t successful, cons if you are).

That said people innately do place their self worth the most on their own sexual value. We are pretty hardwired to make sure our genes persists. The others says ‘therapy’ but i am not so sure its that easy to disassociate self worth with how attractive we are perceived to the other sex because its our primary biological drive after basic survival.

Speaking as someone that does not feel wanted in the dating market at all and feel miserable all the time, even if I understand that I might be valuable to society in many other ways outside of continuing my genes

howtogun · 2023-03-21T00:28:18+00:00

Your a women?

You should just download bumble or something and go on dates with guys.

People suggest therapy, but I think doing action is better instead of talking about your feelings with someone who you are paying a lot of money too.

Look at hitting up the gym and maybe count calories through some app like myfitnesspal. Good luck. Maybe actively look at your lifestyle and try to meet more men.

Naus1987 · 2023-03-20T21:37:06+00:00

Hook up culture and free sexuality has turned people into commodities. Only fans is paying money for a product.

The easy answer is to just not participate in a culture that commodifies the human body.

I’m very anti hook up culture, because there’s a price for it. And a lot of people are not mentally strong enough to endure it.

It’s like the freedom of choice dilemma. Having more choices should allow people to be happy, but a lot aren’t.

——

I also think it’s misguided to consider yourself educated as if it means you’re also wise. You can be book smart, but an absolute idiot in terms of street smart and emotional intelligence.

You can have a degree and still be blind to how the world actually works. You can be educated and not know how your mind works.

I think some people mislead themselves by thinking that having a degree or a fancy job means that they’re actually wise, and this don’t strive to learn more. They think they’ve peaked and wonder why they don’t grow.

It’s the wise man who recognizes he doesn’t know anything. Never assume you’re intelligent just because you paid for a diploma and followed the steps.

Thinking critically on your own requires a whole new mind set.

The important thing is that if you can recognize that you’re not happy, you can acknowledge that the way things are going isn’t helping, and it gives you an opportunity to pivot and adapt. Time to change.

Adapt or die. And a lot of people are dying in this modern society.

Title	Isn’t it crazy?
Author	No_Jelly_6635
Upvotes	13
Comments	24
Date	March 20, 2023 4:47 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/11wo1js/isnt_it_crazy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/isnt-it-crazy.1186938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1186938

Comments