I found the redpill last year. My highschool relationship of 4 years ended and left me devastated because I know I ruined it. The first few months of consuming red pill content I always thought it was bs. I never took it serious and never applied the “tactics” because in my head I knew all that shit was stupid. I guess that stuff is really meant for guys who’ve never talked to females before and I never had that problem. I’m not a chad but I’m not a wimp neither (no offense pls) but as time went by some of the content started to make sense. I found woman’s channels on YT bashing men just like the manosphere does and teaching woman how to use and scam men financially and teaching woman to have like 8 guys lined up and I started to experience red pill rage. All over YouTube commenting so much toxic things because I truly believed from the red pill content that now that I’m an adult, my only worth as a man is what I bring to the table and unconditional love is a myth. I’m nowhere near making 100k a year especially in my region where even 70k puts you in the wealth category but that made me depressed and Realizing now tho that YT and reality is so much different. I knew that but still believed it for some reason. I met a girl my age at the gym and we exchanged numbers and talked for a few weeks then went on a few dates. Clearly we liked eachother but I couldn’t see clearly and felt she had another motive. She’s a nurse and one day told me how much she made doing overtime and it went south from there. I felt emasculated and unworthy of that and doing what I usually do, I ruined it with this misogynistic mindset I’ve been consuming that you know man has to make more and provide. She could’ve been the one but I blew it again. I have a lot to learn at 22 but today I’m done being red pill. Im tired of being tired. And I hope we can spread the message to the men who need it because it’s pointless preaching to those who already bleed what we bleed. Recently I started to reflect on my life and try to heal. I noticed some things. I never healed from any of the trauma. I self sabotaged every relationship I’ve been in and didn’t even realize it due to being straight up toxic and insecure. I also have never approached a woman IRL and my dating profiles are pretty trash. I live alone and didn’t have parents growing up not close to family so that kinda explains things. I get my life advice from YT and recently started reading books. I’m careful of the content I watch from now on and focusing on myself for once because at the end of the day I’m the problem.