Narcissistic abuse

kwanthony1986 · 2023-01-18T23:01:07+00:00

It's been noticed for a long time. Sadly it didn't become a bigger part of the debunking process.

Some relationships are based on intermittent reinforcement. In these kinds of relationships, the things we need like love, connection, belonging, appreciation, affection and commitment, are only granted inconsistently, unpredictably and occasionally.

People in intermittent reinforcement relationships give or withhold certain needs from their partner, granting them either *randomly enough to develop an addiction*, or giving them in response to the exact behavior they want to see in their partner.

The fact that needs are only granted occasionally, in an intermittent reinforcement pattern, *keeps their partners hooked. These “hot and cold” relationships are notoriously addictive*, and may partly explain why some people don’t leave their abusive partners.

Self proclaimed *pickup artists have operationalized intermittent reinforcement as a technique*, known as push/pull. People suffering from borderline personality disorder may also unintentionally push/pull in their relationships.

~

Here's a great post by one of the mods about "Dread Game": https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/41wszn/against_dread_game_based_on_science/

I wonder how much this affects that person's life outside of their "game" and the affects it has on their brain too.

Is it really "attraction" if she's forced to stay because her brain is being jacked with?

Stargazer1919 · 2023-01-18T23:46:05+00:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about how psychological manipulation works on people, both small-scale and large-scale.

When I say psychological manipulation, I mean tactics like some of the ones you mentioned. Dread game, negging, smear campaigns (which I think can happen to anyone), love bombing, lying, intimidation, acting hot and cold (like good cop/bad cop), victim blaming ("you made me hurt you!"), triangulation.

Narcissists seem to be individuals who typically do it on a smaller scale with individuals they personally know.

A larger number of victims of such abuse might be like the followers of redpill, who subscribe to narcissistic redpill influencers like Andrew Tate. (Yes, I do think they are victims of his abusive influence. Remember that some people who were victims become perpetrators of the same abuse.)

I could be totally wrong on making this connection, but I was watching a documentary yesterday on how concentration camps were built and how the Holocaust was beginning to be implemented by the Nazis. Propaganda was a huge part of it. There was a lot of lies spread about the Jewish people. A lot of intimidation and lying towards them. A lot of "you made us go after you like this!"

What I'm getting at is there's a LOT of ways you can psychologically fuck with someone. There could be one victim or there could be millions of victims. I think for the most part, people who use these tactics are mentally ill at best and downright evil at worst.

I think it speaks volumes about someone if they can't/won't just be honest about what they want from you. It's never a bad idea to question someone's motives.

I think I'm probably rambling here. I hope something I said makes sense.

asshole67throw · 2023-01-19T00:25:00+00:00

Yeah it is.

And healthy partners will just loose interest over time, ghost, or block you.

Even unhealthy partners will be thinking “I deserve better” and eventually cheat if they don’t end things first.

This creates a self fulfilling prophecy when the perpetrator gets abandoned/cheated on. Not that they’ll care as they have likely lined up a new supply already.

SomeRespect · 2023-01-24T23:40:47+00:00

People with NPD don't know how to turn those tactics off, always have something to hide (selfish intentions, usually), are always vague, lack maturity, and throw huge hissy fits / temper tantrums when they don't get their way. They also lie all the time, and never take responsibility when sh** hits the proverbial fan.

Normal people take responsibility and improve themselves. Normal people know how to read the room, switch between teasing / playful banter, and honest / serious conversation, communicate intentions, and are truthful. Normal people know how to defuse their tempers and come to peace when something doesn't go their way.

I am a survivor of narcissistic abuse (10+ years with a best friend, and 2+ years of a roller coaster recovery) but I also believe game / pickup has a place in society. While game is not the know all be all for getting laid, it gives a good foundation for people starting off with the highly complicated dynamic of social skills. And once you have enough experience socializing, that pickup framework isn't needed anymore. You'll just "know" when to do what.

IMO, main differences between pickup and Narcissism are intention and levels of honesty.

Title	Narcissistic abuse
Author	kwanthony1986
Upvotes	15
Comments	9
Date	January 18, 2023 10:42 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/10fkr3y/narcissistic_abuse/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/narcissistic-abuse.1149824 https://theredarchive.com/post/1149824

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