Self worth

TypicalProfit8475 · 2024-01-10T20:42:23+00:00

Here’s what I think the RP is missing, in dating people aren’t selecting for averages. We are trying to find a whole person who is compatible with us as a whole person. Life is about finding meaning where you are, not about statistics or beating the bell curve. A lot of women are turned off by the alpha male BS. Healthy women are looking for a whole person to date not statistics. I’m not lying to you, this is a truth about healthy women, they will usually choose an average looking, good, kind man (but not a “nice guy”) over a ripped wealthy man with emotional issues. Women aren’t a monolith either some women really love a bigger guy, or a skinny guy, or a nerd, and someone with shared interests and all women want someone who has the same values as them.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-01-10T20:28:16+00:00

What are you below average in? Very few people are in dream shape to be a fighter. In fact trying to do that puts you at risk of injury. Few people have high social status its literally in the word. Most people are average looking and have average social status. In fact caring too much about having high social status is really needy and will reduce your social status.

luridlurker · 2024-01-10T20:47:16+00:00

Imagine you existed in a blank room. A room where you are the only person and will always be the only person. A room where you can fill it with whatever you need to fulfill your solitary interests and hobbies. What would you want? What would you work on that would make you proud of yourself?

Do you want to be a fighter? A social influencer? Or are these things you want to be because someone else told you it'd make you happy.

Self esteem comes from within. You have to build it without influence from shallow or material things. You have to build it without caring what others believe or think.

Birthday_Personal · 2024-01-11T01:42:10+00:00

Hit the gym and work on your self development. It starts with liking yourself first.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-01-11T14:43:35+00:00

Self-esteem is binary. It's whether we think that we are good enough or not. And humans are extremely bad at knowing how others perceive them, so a majority of people with low self-esteem see themselves as "not good enough" despite the fact that the majority of people around them don't see them that way.

Self-esteem is a trap. Trying to reach that imaginary threshold can be impossible, because for most people they will just move their own goalposts. If they do things that should make them good enough, they'll discount those things. If they get positive feedback from other people, they'll discount that feedback.

So, give up on worrying about your self-esteem. Focus instead on self-compassion.

Self-compassion is how we treat ourselves internally. Self-compassion is treating yourself like a good friend. Would you tell a really good friend that they were "below average?" Probably not. You'd probably give them encouragement. If your friend was on a date and then told you, "she's above average and I'm below," what what you say to them? You'd probably tell them that they were selling themself short, or just go for it and see what happens. etc.

Overtime, if you tell yourself things like "I'm below average" or "I'm not good enough" or anything like that, what you end up doing is beating yourself up mentally. It's not good or healthy and can lead to these self esteem problems.

If you change this behavior over time and start treating yourself like a good friend, treating yourself with kindness and encouragement, you will start to feel a lot better. It might sound too simple or hokey, but it actually works (if you want to look up the science google Dr. Kristen Neff). The difference between making a mistake and internally saying, "I'm an idiot," vs internally saying, "oops, ok, but I'll try to better next time," over and over again over time can radically change how we feel about ourselves.

ZanyArmadillo6297 · 2024-01-11T15:14:06+00:00

OP: I’d highly recommend finding an ACA meeting (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). Family trauma shapes you in ways that are difficult for those with more functional backgrounds to understand; but there is a space where you can share, heal, and be understood. Take a look at the Laundry List traits and see if you identify. https://adultchildren.org

I also really like Patrick Teahan’s videos on YouTube. Patrick Teahan was how I found my way into the recovery space. I found his videos really informative and helpful until I had the courage to start opening up and talking to others at ACA.

WonkyBoot · 2024-01-12T19:58:44+00:00

Most women want someone who is a good listener and someone who is caring person who has passion for life.

I think the most important thing is to figure out what gives you passion or joy in life, and learn how to bring that into your life on a regular basis. Do things that make life fun and interesting.

Then learn how to build your self-esteem and health, it will be easier when you have fun things to look forward to.

UnfortunateJones · 2024-01-17T07:20:57+00:00

Boo the fuck hoo broseph.

Like really

“Couldn’t get in fighting shape”

Means you’re not in fighting shape.

Get there if it means so much to you that you’ll disrespect women over. Don’t be scared of failure. If you never fail you never grow.

Resentment is only born from those who refuse to grow.

Do social shit and forget about women. Like go to clubs and just dance and make the try hards mad. Be weird with your bros.

If your fat walk. Then walk till you can jog.

If you find a woman that is your fucking life. I’d you’re not ready for the challenge then now the fuck down until you’re ready.

Women have enough boo hoo rapists. Be above that shit.

Fuck high school too. The best women for me found themselves after college.

If you care about virgins join a Caliphate. Just don’t stand near any materiel at night.

Title	Self worth
Author	vladiVP
Upvotes	3
Comments	18
Date	January 10, 2024 7:42 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/193h2uu/self_worth/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/self-worth.1242681 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242681

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