Thoughts on this?

Exis007 · 2022-04-26T12:32:33+00:00

I mean, you can look it up. There is data on this and people have looked into the gender gap.

This source says 20% of men and 13% women.

This would suggest 23% men vs. 12% women.

But we can put some pressure on this data because there are lies, damned lies, and statistics. The data collected here is self-reported. You might have to ask whether there's a bias for men to be willing to self-report infidelity more than women. If women are unwilling to admit participating, their numbers might be artificially low. I don't know that's happening, there's no reason to suggest that it would, but that's something to consider. When you look at self-reported data on sex partners (aka, how many have you had) heterosexual women report lower than men. There's a purity culture element here where women are going to be more likely to deflate numbers and/or men are more willing to inflate theirs because that's what the social pressure would suggest. There's also a theory that the discrepency between men and women might come from men's use of sex workers, so they are reporting a higher number than women for those reasons. No one knows because self-reported data is just that.

But even saying that, you also have to question the validity of the source you've provided. The obvious one being that the plural of anecdote isn't data. Also the title of the video is "Women cheat more" and then the very expert they are talking to says "Who knows the numbers? I certainly don't". So this isn't even backing up the internal claim the video is making. My personal criticism would be that she's added another variable and must be really fucking terrible at research. Why isn't the conclusion, the one that would feel obvious to me anyway, that women are more likely to go to therapy to discuss infidelity they've committed than men? She's not sampling WOMEN. She's sampling women who are coming to a relationship and family therapist because their relationships are on the rocks. It seems dead obvious to me that relationships that are ending or in trouble are more likely to have infidelity than ones that are not, because infidelity is still one of the major reasons relationships end. Period. So I would bet anything she does talk to a high number of women who have had affairs because women who have had affairs are more likely to have failing marriages and women, in general, are more likely to seek therapy and counseling so this whole thing just stands to reason.

So tl;dr the source in that video is hot garbage. Men cheat more than women, but the limitations of self-reported data would suggest to me that the gap isn't as big as the self-reported data suggests, but probably not so off as to negate the conclusion. Women who seek family and relationship therapists are more likely to cheat or have cheated than women who don't, because duh. Don't trust videos whose experts can't even back up the snappy claim made in the clickbait title.

achyshaky · 2022-04-26T00:21:36+00:00

My thoughts are...

1) The Roommates podcast is gender essentialist trash.

2) It's hilarious watching the interviewer. He's really struggling to get her to pathologize women's cheating as some sort of biological impulse but she keeps reverting back to theories based in psychology (albeit her theories are quite wack as it is).

3) Women and men cheat at exactly the same rate. There's no reason to assume otherwise, and personal anecdotes are insufficient. Most of the cheaters in my life have been men. But I know better than to say that means men cheat more. This really should be obvious.

4) A female relationship therapist is going to get more women as clients than men, and vice versa. Meaning her anecdote of hearing more stories of cheating from women isn't representative of anything.

RedPillDetox · 2022-04-26T08:29:04+00:00

Gotta love TRP non-sense... Men "want to spread their seed" and so it's legitimate for them to "exercise their options", while women don't. But at the same time, somehow, women cheat more than men and men are the "romantic sex" because... i don't know... reasons... probably feminism or so. You'd guess the sex "programmed" to "spread it's seed" would cheat more and be less romantic, but somehow there's some logic twist that leads them to say otherwise. It's virtually just portraying women to be bad and wrong in every way possible, even when their logic doesn't hold, because TRP hates women, simply put.

I believe that men cheat more. I don't know why clinical practice would lead anyone to claim otherwise just because it feels to her that her clients show "even" numbers of men and women cheating at about the same rates. Clearly, if you're going to therapy that's already a tell that your behavior isn't potentially generalizable to the whole population. Particularly if female cheating derives from feeling emotionally neglected more than men, then you'd think that more women that cheat would look for therapy at higher rates than men that cheat, given that cheating isn't as much of a symptom of psychological unwellness in men, except maybe for stress, like she says.

Lostworld100 · 2022-04-25T23:36:06+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Golferama · 2022-04-26T05:51:23+00:00

It’s not about who cheats more in my opinion. To me I feel like it’s who has the bigger window of opportunity to cheat more. Women don’t even have to try to get laid, if you at a solid 5/10 a horny attractive man would have to put in so much effort to even get a spec of attention from that woman. The woman already has 99+ matches anyways and is picking the best one in line. The man cheats more but has a lower window of opportunity. The risk is much higher for men because they put more effort into finding this fling without any strings attached. It’s easier for them to have what they don’t have. However women have a larger opportunity when it comes to choices.

Moneydamjan · 2022-04-26T02:18:31+00:00

i believe that most average women cheat more than most average men, but a small percent of high value men cheat the most out of everyone

thrwwayguy · 2022-04-26T08:53:25+00:00

This was actually very balanced. They made a point that both men and women are biologically predisposed to cheating but making a commitment to stay with one person should overrule that predisposition.

Title	Thoughts on this?
Author	Lostworld100
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	April 25, 2022 10:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ubxeja/thoughts_on_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/thoughts-on-this.1113423 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113423

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