The Problem with Toxic Shame / Core Wounding is that a false belief cannot be "healed". Toxic shame is a core belief about ourselves that we are somehow defective or broken, separate from love.

Common wounds: Never enough, inadequate, unlovable, worthless, alone.

These beliefs live deep within our bodies. The ego seeks to avoid this pain by: numbing it out from the body and distracting you (do something, change something, think something). When we begin exploring our wounds, we tend to approach healing from a dual perspective. Unconditional love, comforting/soothing wounded broken me. By default, we are separate from this thing comforting us.

The problem with these wounds is that they cannot be healed. They cannot be fixed, resolved, or transformed. Because they were never true to begin with. We have absorbed a false internal belief about ourselves, as the result of an external event.

Common external events: betrayal, abuse, rejection, abandonment, neglect.

From these events, we form a conclusion about ourselves. "This person left because I am not enough". "This person betrayed me because I am inadequate", etc. These were incorrect conclusions formed from the event, and therefore they cannot be healed.

For example, if I call you a cat, you do not "heal" from being called a cat. You do not need to prove you are human. You just discard my accusation because it is incorrect. Toxic shame is much sneakier because it convinces you it's the ultimate truth. It wants to be healed and comforted, because these practices perpetuate its existence simply by acknowledging it.

If we believe "I am not enough", we may use spirituality or nice quotes to soothe ourselves and repeat, "I am enough!" But we always seem to swing back to "Not enough", because the wound is an old energy that will never be satisfied. So instead of trying to prove "I am enough" (trying really hard in relationships), we can discard the idea of "I am not enough". Instead of trying to prove "I am adequate" (accomplishing lots of stuff), we can discard the idea of "I am inadequate".

As the belief begins to dissolve from our psyche, the tension in the body follows. This is where we feel lightness, space, freedom. The heart's knot is undone. By seeing the brokenness/defectiveness as false, we dissolve the perceived separation (often held as a blockage or tension or numbness in the body) between ourselves and unconditional love, so it can come rushing back inside where it belongs.

Groups/cults like The Red Pill prey on these wounds inside of you. It's time to heal so that you can break this cycle and work toward becoming who you're meant to be and want to be rather than spending your precious time on this spinning rock perpetuating the abuse that someone else placed on you.