I was once in a LTR with someone who cheated on me twice (who knows how many times he actually did) you may ask, why the heck did you stay with this loser after he betrayed you so many times?? I believed it's what I deserved at the time because there was something wrong with me. I believed, like the movies, that staying would make him see who he had right in front of him & we would have a happy ending. I was scared to be alone because I thought "if he cheated on me, who can ever love me?"

Two years ago, I found out this girl who we went to HS with had blocked my ex on every single social media platform he contacted her through; Instagram, snapchat and twitter. I confronted him about it, and he basically told on himself and told me that she said he was telling her sexual comments, it made her feel uncomfortable and that he has a girlfriend but he "doesn't remember" saying those things. yeah ok. I didn't know what to say and decided too push my feelings aside and "let it go" because maybe he was telling the truth this time. But something didn't feel right. As time passed by, I kept ignoring how it truly made me feel because the times that I spoke to him about something he did, I would get called dramatic, childish, or petty. These words haunt me to this day. I no longer considered my feelings valid, and every-time I wanted to talk about something, I gas-light myself and would even call myself petty for even feeling the slightest emotion.

At some point, I just couldn't take it anymore and the first thing that came to mind was to message this women who he had contacted previously behind my back. I messaged her on social media and asked her if she remembers (I showed him a picture of my ex) if this person has ever contacted her, she messaged me the day after and told me that she remembers him saying such things and she blocked him but did not have any evidence to prove this. My blood was boiling. It felt so selfish of her to not tell me at the moment he was sending her messages, because god knows how many times he did. I felt embarrassed, stupid, humiliated. I grew to hate myself because I allowed this. I was no longer me. I just felt like his sex toy. I didn't care anymore, about anything. But yet, I decided to put this mask on that I was okay because I felt like I didn't matter.

Fast forward to now, since I broke up with him after him getting too close with a coworker at his new job, disregarded how uncomfortable it was making me feel even though they were "just friends".....that was the last straw for me. After months of excruciating pain and anger, self love came out of this. I love myself so much now that, I forgive and love the past me for putting up with so much that she didn't deserve because it comes to show how much love I have to give.

I found out a couple months ago, he was following her through one of his other accounts he created on instagram since she blocked his main socials, despite him already having a new girlfriend months after we broke up.

So please, don't stay quiet if you witness a man doing these type of things. As women, we already get enough hate as it is, we have to support one another and stay together. You have no idea how much emotional damage you can be saving.