Can we talk about Buffy?

daisy_0720 · 2021-02-13T07:43:39+00:00

I adore Buffy, but holy shit on re-watching, Xander and Willow are AWFUL. We all know that Xander is trash (a sexist, lying cheat who slut-shames women when they have the audacity to sleep with someone that isn't him) but Willow is no better. Not only does she cheat on Oz (I actually didn't find this out of character) but she RAPES HER GIRLFRIEND (magically mind-wipes her brain after an argument and the implication is they had sex that night). Buffy deserved SO MUCH better than both of them. They both resented her on some level because they knew she was a far better person than they could ever hope to be, not because of her physical strength, but because of who she is at her core. Xander was practically gleeful whenever he had the opportunity to call Buffy out on a mistake (see: Dead Man's Party, Entropy) while Willow explicitly hated the fact that Buffy was in charge and wanted some of the limelight.

A scene that perfectly encapsulates this is at the beginning of Season 3 when Willow calls Buffy out for being a shitty friend because Willow 'had stuff going on in her life.' As in, she was learning magic and had a boyfriend. That's literally it. Keep in mind this is after Buffy had to kill the love of her life to stop the apocalypse, leave town because her mom kicked her out and was wanted by the police, and had recently been in a hell dimension. She's completely traumatized and when she comes home, instead of her friends showing some sensitivity and compassion, they act like complete insensitive assholes. And Buffy apologizes! She listens to Willow's poor-me pity party schtick and agrees that she must be a bad friend. Willow doesn't apologize. Dead Man's Party is by far the worst episode of the series for me, even worse than that episode where the Scoobies kick Buffy out of her own house. And of course, Xander and Willow didn't come to her defense then, either.

Buffy has more compassion, kindness, courage, moral integrity and sheer goddamn heart than either of those two selfish assholes that have the audacity to call themselves her friends.

EDIT: Oh, and let's not forget that Buffy was also apparently a Bad Girlfriend because she didn't pay her boyfriend enough attention when her mother was dying of a brain tumor. For the remainder of the show, Riley is treated as The One Who Got Away and Buffy blames herself for losing her shot at true love with a Good Guy^(TM) because Xander said so and romantic music was swelling in the background to manipulate the audience into agreeing with him. The fact that Riley's cheating and insecurity may have contributed to the demise of the relationship is never mentioned.

Jiou112 · 2021-02-13T06:42:40+00:00

My dad and I used to watch it growing up. At that time it was one of the only few strong female bad*ss characters on TV. I've always loved it and still REALLY do, and recently rewatched it with the same mentality you did! Honestly I chocked it up to male writers and just lack of female voice in TV durring that time. Not that now is much better but ooh it would be so cool if they redid it with female perspective! Make Xander not such an incell and Willow and Buffy not such pickmes. But mainly Xander... gosh I hated him even as a little girl. Ik Willow deserved better, why didn't Ik I did??

DutyKooky · 2021-02-13T05:31:50+00:00

My LVM step dad loved watching it. I hated the show and thought it was stupid. Too much obsession with cleavage shots in that series.

2021-02-13T06:20:41+00:00

I mean so there's a lot to blame Joss Whedon for. Being a kick ass superhero doesn't change the fact that its written by a misogynist.

I mean look at the men Buffy is attracted to:

-Angel: Literally a fucking pedophile. He fell in love with buffy when she was 12 years old liking a lollipop. Literally a pedophile. And lets be real he never loved her he loved the idea of her. Joyce Summers is one of the most powerful and badass women in how she stared down a vampire and told him to fuck off and stop ruining her life.

-Riley: Short lived but one was technically a drug addict? Who lied about his addiction and his addiction was "caused" by his inferiority complex about buffy being more than him. Like all of buffy's male friends may have moments of insecurity (Xander and Oz both had their days) but overall were able to accept that there was a greater purpose to buffy than them. He literally let his toxicity overwelm him and its painted as being Buffy's fault by the end.

-Spike.... I secretly love spike but whats so fucked up is the entire romance arc at the beginning for the two of them is honestly sincere. He is kind and protective without being overwhelming or controlling to Joyce and Dawn. He takes an active interest in her family in as kind of way as possible for a vampire. And then when they're finally together its immediately turned into an abusive FWB situation.

The entire show is set up to punish buffy for feeling emotions instead of fighting vampires. Like every romantic encounter she has is designed to be a punishment for her.

Honestly the only really "healthy" relationship in that show is probably Anya/Xander because Anya's transition to mortality renders her emotionally immature despite her thousand year old status and even then there's quite a bit of unhealthy pickmeism there (he has no job and no place to live for the first 1.5+ years of their relationship)

PreachyGirl · 2021-02-13T08:10:08+00:00

I know it's like beating a dead horse at this point, but it applies unfortunately. Considering the fact that it's Joss Whedon, are we surprised that there are some rather troubling aspects to all these characters? There's a strong obsession with grooming and 'romancing' underage teenage girls, non consent/dubious consent, and outright sexual assault/rape, and it all came from the mind of Joss Whedon, a self-proclaimed 'male feminist.'

Which is a huge red flag in of itself. If any guy volunteers such information unprovoked, RUN. There's nothing good that would come from your connection to him.

yolosunshine · 2021-02-13T11:51:21+00:00

Joss Whedon is pretty much a shitshow—sometimes his people are too.

I personally couldn’t watch buffy because of this

Adventurous_Rise_307 · 2021-02-13T06:00:40+00:00

Ok so yeah it’s my favorite show, but it was produced by nvm joss whedon so are we really all that surprised?

Title	Can we talk about Buffy?
Author	luvmyvulvaxoxo
Upvotes	36
Comments	10
Date	February 13, 2021 5:25 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/liu2vh/can_we_talk_about_buffy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/can-we-talk-about-buffy.742260 https://theredarchive.com/post/742260

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