Dating feels like eating at the same restaurant over and over again. The menu seems to change but everything ends up tasting the same.

detectivejuicee · 2020-03-28T00:45:43+00:00

I was watching a YouTuber today and she was talking about how cutting off “toxic” people made her so much happier. She explained that her mentality now was that she was bettering herself and that “it’s so easy to be a good person so I have no interest in being with negative people anymore”. I felt that really. That’s how I feel about most guys now. A lot of them aren’t even good people (but are so vocal about being good!). When you have any kind of talk about a situation they’re quick to pull the “i don’t judge” card so it’s a sterile conversation whenever it comes to anything morale. I find most of them to be all up in their heads, wrap up in their “I’m so very smart” ideas about the world and themselves. But it’s all words. They’re mostly lazy and unmotivated. Anyways I lost my track of thoughts...

Saitschik · 2020-03-28T00:40:38+00:00

I can relate to this feeling. It is frustrating to see that men seem to function all the same at their core somehow. Nobody is perfect but men seem to have such a simple mind so often, it is utterly boring. Exactly like eating in the same restaurant all the time. Like you go there and order something you never had but then you realize it has the typical taste of this restaurant again...

throwahweigh3521 · 2020-03-28T01:08:08+00:00

That’s exactly it- same results no matter the variables. For a couple of years while I was dating recently I followed conventional advice and blamed myself ruthlessly deconstructing all the many ways I was worthless, damaged or attracting the wrong men. By focusing on me as the source and wellspring I was definitely using the prevailing mindset that I was the only common denominator in my dating misery.

And then came #metoo. I thought about years worth of significant, life altering sexual harassment and abuse that I had brushed off and forgotten because women worldwide were shamed into that cope- nice ladies didn’t get sexually harassed or assaulted. Seeing all the stories of harassment and all the mainstream powerful men exposed as shitty sexual abusers- it was abundantly clear it was not me.

Just like you, I’ve taken a clear look at the men available and the ones dated. Though I stuck to nice guys ™️- relationships with men who have zero interest outside sports, that haven’t learned anything in decades and expect you to selflessly caretake them- nothing good happened. Men don’t realize that they are vampires that suck the souls of women dead.

Brainwashed and overvalued - men cannot see dynamics and how they interact with women in general.

I do now and dgaf about trying to date unsuitable men.

You’re right, welcome to liberation.

kiki03wtr · 2020-03-28T01:39:32+00:00

Most men are boring is the conclusion I've come to also. Nothing wrong with video games but when that's ALL you do? Ugh

modernmedusaa · 2020-03-28T02:34:50+00:00

Most don't actually have a personality because they rely on mirroring what they think a woman wants to get in her pants. That's why they have to pretend- because they know they don't actually have any charisma or much value deep down, hence why they mirror HVW. Then ofc this blows up in their face at some point...as she discovers he’s empty , incompetent & full of cowardice. Well...that isn't a personality- that's copying someone for nefarious purposes. That's hiding. Leeching. Shapeshifting. When a woman is expecting more, they don't know what to do and feel incredibly uncomfortable/exposed for the bland little naked shell they are. Because they've relied on taking the lazy route for so long, instead of actually developing a strong character and some substance. Most of them are all about the cheap illusions and shortcuts........then wonder why their relationships don't last with women they want.

Whenever you start to think a man is 'mysterious' ...I guarentee you he is not- he is either bland or playing a manipulation game deliberately. Or both. Don't over-romanticise these bland guys. If he has depth you will know it. If you have real chemistry, you'll know it.

FDSFemmeFatale · 2020-03-28T02:15:02+00:00

Sounds about right. It's like pulling teeth to find a guy that has interests and culture. I feel as if they expect us to give them polish and finishing. What's funny is that they then want us to pick up their boring interests, rather than them broadening their horizons to pick up ours. An exhausting amount of labor.

Title	Dating feels like eating at the same restaurant over and over again. The menu seems to change but everything ends up tasting the same.
Author	letsberealforamoment
Upvotes	218
Comments	12
Date	March 27, 2020 11:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fq91t4/dating_feels_like_eating_at_the_same_restaurant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dating-feels-like-eating-at-the-same-restaurant.679478 https://theredarchive.com/post/679478

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