So there are a lot of new people here (even I am a bit new here). So I thought, why not share some good ideas, advice's and tips for dates? Well lets begin! =)

Which dates you SHOULD AVOID:

  1. 'The cinema'. In the cinema you can't really talk or see his body language. And lets not forget, that when you are in a cinema and you are alone or almost alone he can easily touch you, kiss you, or do other in appropriate things. Dating/dates are for learning to know each other and you can't do that in a cinema.

  2. 'A drinking date'. We all know what happens when people drink alcohol... its a cheap and low effort date. Also very dangerous. Plus, neither of you are allowed to drive, so you have to go with public transport or a bike or someone that comes pick you up. Which is all not very save. Also, you will learn the alcohol side of the person and not the sober one. And if you think 2 drinks won't hurt anyone, ''because boys can drink a lot of alcohol'' is BS. Some can drink a lot, some can get aggressive after 1 or 2 beers.

  3. 'Walking dates'. VERY LOW EFFORT. Can also be dangerous (depends on where you are going for a walk). Yes, you can talk a lot and get to know each other maybe, but you show him that you are his dog, he will have the control. He also learns that he can get away with being low effort. It will be a bad beginning for a relationship.

  4. 'Swimming dates'. He gets to see you almost naked, it will turn him on. Its like dropping blood in front of a predator, his sexual instincts will kick in. You also show him that you are being comfortable by being almost naked near him. It is also low effort and weird to do on one of the first few dates.

  5. 'His house or his friends house'. That is very low effort and dangerous. And going to his friends on one of the first few dates? Why? To show his friends what for ''prize'' he got so he can impress them?

  6. 'Fastfood dates'. It is not a healthy choice and a cheap and low effort thing. I have nothing to
    say about this.

So what for dates are a good idea?

  1. Museums. (Sounds boring? But it can be cool and fun! Plus, you are in a save place, you can talk and learn to know each other and you can always go do something after it, or leave anytime you want).
  2. Zoo's. (Same as above).
  3. Amusement parks (Fun fact, during fear, people will feel faster attracted to you? Also, you can have a great time here, be save and leave whenever you want! If the date isn't going well you can use as an excuse that you don't feel well!)
  4. Shopping (Ahh who doesn't love shopping? OH yeah.. Males! -_- but for us it is fun and you can learn about what for style somebody likes. Maybe he even buys you something, but be careful! You don't have to repay him, not with anything! Even if the date isn't going well. You don't have to accept a gift.
  5. A concert. (I would recommend to do something before it. To learn about your date. If your date isn't going well, you can leave anytime. Don't go to a favorite artist, band or etc because you don't want to miss that!)
  6. A musical (I would recommend to do something before this to get to learn each other first)
  7. Going to an arcade hall (Can be a lot of fun, maybe some of you find it childish, but there are a lot of games that you have to co-operate or 1 vs 1. You can learn A LOT about someone in an arcade. Does he let you win? Is he competitive? Can he handel it when he loses from you? Is he good in game A? or game B? How does he react to other people? Does he look at you how you play a game? Does he allow you to choose which games to play? Can you two be good teammates? Does he give tickets away to a kid? So much to learn... or is he childish? :P
  8. Going to a (good) restaurant (Ahhh the best date! The ultimate test. Does he pay or does he want to spilt the bill? Does he pick a cheap restaurant? How did he dress? Is he on time? You can also talk a lot during this and you get to know each other. And best thing: The toilet/wc is near! =))

So any other tips, advice's?

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  1. Don't go on a date if you only know the person for less than 2 weeks. Even than, it is a bit short, BUT if someone asks you in the first 2 weeks to go on a date, that can only mean one thing: He wants you for something and it ain't for a relationship. He probably wants sex, attention, a mom, a maid or a therapist.

  2. Don't go on a date with someone if you already saw 1 red flag. Or if your feeling says something is not good. Listen to your feeling! Woman have a great instinct, listen to it!

  3. If you go on a date, inform someone of your family or friends. Say what you are going to do and at what time the date begins. Also tell them how late you think it will end for lets say 21:00. So that person calls you around that time and you tell them how it is going. Don't text, because that can be seen as rude because he can't see what you are texting (of course it is non of his business) Pro tip 1: If your date is still with you, use code language. Discuss this on for hand with the person who you informed about your date. Some example: ''Yeah mom (or friend name), I won't be late home'' can be meaning, date is safe, but I don't like it. or saying: ''No mother (or friend name), I won't be home late AGAIN'' this can mean for example: I really want to leave, but I don't feel safe! Come pick me up! Pro tip 2: if your informed person doesn't call you, or it is not yet the time that he or she would call you can say something to your date like: Oh! I should let (insert name) Know I am safe and well! Do you mind if I give them a quick call to let them know?

  4. Google, facebook, image search his name and picture. You never know if he already has someone or if he is a catfish.

  5. Have your cellphone with you and charged. Have cash and a credit/bank card. (in case you need to take a taxi or anything).

  6. Take something as a defense weapon with you. Like pepperspray. If pepperspray is not allowed, deodorant or perfume will work also. You can also make your on pepperspray.

  7. No means no. Don't let you get forced anything. You don't own your date anything. Even if he wants to eat somewhere and you don't, THAN YOU DON'T.

  8. Pay good attention to his body language and how he treats other people.

  9. Don't over dress, or use to much make-up. You need/want to make a good impression of course, but he doesn't need to get the impression that you would do everything for him.

  10. The first date should be close to your home. You don't need to drive for a long time. If he doesn't want to for a long time, than you are not worth much for him. Of course 2 hour drive is long, but anything less than 1 hour (1,5 hour) is not a long drive.

  11. Try to video call with him before you go on a real life date.

  12. have some background on him. Does he has siblings? how is his relationship with his father/mother?

  13. Have his phone number. If he is late on the date you can call him.

  14. Have some info about where your date location is. How do the streets look? Where is the train/bus station? Where is the police station, is it a safe area?

  15. NO sex until you are officially a couple.

Okay, I can go on and on and... most things are obvious, or look extreme, but it can help anyone someday. Maybe on some things you won't agree on, and that is fine =) I would love to hear other opinions =) Sorry if there are any language/grammar errors, English is not my native language.

I hope this helped you or will help you one day. Stay save and have fun! I hope you will find a perfect HVM! Love you FDS community, you helped me a lot in many ways <3