The list can just be in your head, but it's best if you write it down. Especially if you're new to FDS and are struggling to not get attached quickly.

To avoid being exploited and hurt, you need to train yourself to not get attached without basic expectations and requirements being met, screening standards being met.

For example, a list can be...

- He doesn't pressure me or coerce me for sex. He is letting me control the pace of intimacy.

- Over time, I have observed that he is a decent person, who is responsible, honest, empathetic and knows right from wrong.

- We have discussed our goals, values, what we are looking for, if we are compatible or not.

- He treats me with respect. He respects my time, energy, efforts.

- He is a good communicator-- he listens to me and can also express his own feelings/thoughts.

- He is high effort, shows high interest consistently.

- etc

This way, you are actually assessing his real character, you're not just imagining things in your head and projecting positive qualities onto him based on superficial actions. Be analytical about it, don't allow emotion to interfere with your screening. Also, train yourself to slowly get attached-- like at first you just like him as a person, you respect him as a person, you think he might have potential, and so on. Don't look at 1 thing he did, and decide that he is trustworthy now and it's safe to get attached. Be vigilant and give yourself time to screen. Most men will show you either their ass or their true colors before 1 month. Others will take a few months longer, but it's rarely ever longer than that. And in this time, also date other men-- don't get attached to one person simply because you're only talking to one person. Men have backup women, so you should do the same.

Don't do the typical thing-- where you meet some random guy off of an app (and are therefore used to having uncomfortable interactions with random men, unable to use your intuition to screen), have drinks on a low effort date, have sex quickly. That will lead to becoming attached very quickly, you will most likely be exploited, hurt and the cycle will continue-- if you don't change how you approach dating. So this all goes hand-in-hand-- avoid low effort dates, avoid drink dates, avoid dating apps if possible-- these things all lead to premature, dangerous early attachment.

Your attachment should be hard to earn, it should be a prize for a man who is worthy of your attachment. Sex is the #1 reason why women get attached before they understand a man's true character. Alcohol and loneliness are close seconds. Avoid having sex before thoroughly screening, avoid alcohol and avoid loneliness. Don't let yourself get easily attached to any random Tom, Dick or Butthead. If you've been the type that follows "chemistry" and "sparks" as your main screening criteria-- learn to undo that conditioning, because you will likely get into a lot of trouble if you're screening primarily through sexual chemistry or sparks. Strengthen your self-preservation instinct, ask yourself, why should a random guy, who I don't even know is a decent person or not, who I don't even know is lying to me or not-- get my attachment?

More men than not will take advantage of your attachment, always remember that.