Don’t be like this... hear me out.

divination__ · 2020-08-01T20:21:01+00:00

i feel like gender being brought into this is a leap on the behalf of the original tumblr OP. sounds more like a family thing, my parents bought both me and my brother plenty of of stuffed animals each.

in this instance we don't actually know the relationship between the author and the friend... if they're very close then it is still a sweet act. the kindness and generosity of my female friends is what keeps me going (the amount of gifts and flowers I have sent and received during quarantine has truly been something)

i'm kind of in two minds about this... i think people should be more giving and loving and caring generally. the withholding of generosity and caregiving instincts are a good tactic when dealing with straight men who are raised to be entitled and expect/exploit this in women, but this instinct is also why women have such nourishing and rich friendships. i'd argue that it's also why so many female leaders have been so effective in dealing with this pandemic as it is a crisis that requires empathy, care, and cooperation to be at the forefront rather than competition and defensiveness.

that said, the fds principles mean being a realist, not an idealist. in an ideal world men would match womens empathy and community-led concern for a better society. but we live in a capitalist, competition-led patriarchal reality that exploits empathy, so empathic people, especially women, should learn to be very selective with who they are generous towards.

Historywillabsolvem3 · 2020-08-01T19:46:22+00:00

So people are sharing this as a cute feel good post but post FDS me is just thinking why would you do this? As women, we are socialised to care WAY too much and give up way too much of our time and money to helping others. Think about how charities target women specifically, it’s because we actually care. She’s obviously trying to help a friend but seriously, respect yourself. Don’t rush around wasting your time and petrol just to work yourself up into convincing yourself you’re helping fight injustices. This is a nice thing to do for a friend, sure, but I’d maybe do this for a really close friend for a birthday or something. Not casually. As women we need to start reclaiming our time back and not doing free emotional labour and therapy thinking we’re helping. Thoughts on this?

sisterofnarcissus · 2020-08-01T19:56:52+00:00

I’m sorry, just a genuine question, are teddy bears necessary?

Title	Don’t be like this... hear me out.
Author	Historywillabsolvem3
Upvotes	20
Comments	18
Date	August 1, 2020 7:42 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i1y9uu/dont_be_like_this_hear_me_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-be-like-this-hear-me-out.720565 https://theredarchive.com/post/720565

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