Don't know if this has been made a post already, but hey ladies in awesome relationships with HLM, can we hear about your success stories and how you did all the right things for yourself to win the mega jackpot relationship boyfriend lottery? :) Let's inspire some folks!

sweatydeath · 2019-12-31T20:32:53+00:00

I always ended dates first. He tried to reschedule a date with me last-minute for the following day, but I couldn't (I had a date with another man). He respected the fact that I had a schedule and stuck to it.

Even as a GF, I don't choose him over my work and hobbies. He wants to hang out Monday, or Friday? I can't because I'm busy with Muay Thai training. You want me to stay in to cuddle with you? I'd rather not skip work and save my sick days for when I need them.

I also didn't have sex with him until commitment was established (we became official). This act showed him that I have a standard for how I am treated.

I dropped compliments judiciously. Whenever he was extra sweet, I gave him a compliment. This ultimately encouraged him to do the same and he calls me beautiful on a daily basis. Don't be afraid to compliment! Just time it well and refrain from doing so if he is treating you poorly.

We hung out only once per week until we were in an exclusive relationship. Unless I'm in a committed relationship, my schedule can make room for up to 3 suitors. This helps prevent being too clingy with any particular one.

We just clicked. I noticed he didn't mention any ex's on our first date, declined to let me pay my fair share (I would've ghosted him if he accepted), and he did not shy away from me when he found out I had multiple suitors. This is what set him apart - his interest in me was piqued and he was outwardly competitive for my attention. In his eyes, I am the prize (he has literally said this to me).

Whateverbabe2 · 2019-12-31T20:14:55+00:00

Not in a relationship rn but my late fiancé was amazing.

He was in a bad place in his life when we met, but the day after I met him he told me that being around me made him want to be better and he literally went out and got a job immediately.

Part of it was that we were a really good fit and the other part was that my self esteem was at an all time high. The first time I meet him we snuck out of the meeting we were at to go on the roof and look at the stars and when we were cuddling i thought he tried to put his hand on my ass and I admonished him.

He took me to the movies the next day and paid for everything. I found out later he had no money and literally spent everything he had on me. He was practically homeless during our relationship but he never let me pay for anything and still found a way to take care of me.

He Accidentally met my sister on our first date and not only behaved admirably but made a great impression and privately complimented me both on my relationship with her and my intelligence after sitting in on my convo with my sis. Won him major points because I prize my relationship with my sisters.

Throughout the relationship I made it clear that I wanted to be cautious and I was not going to unwisely invest in a man. When we hung out I consistently left early or unexpectedly to prioritize my time and leave him wanting more. I talked about my goals and my family like they were the most important things in my life and I wouldn't compromise them. I also made my values and religion very clear.

He made it a priority to prove to me that our relationship would be an asset to me. Treated me like a queen. Introduced me to his mom very early on and made it clear that it was not something be usually did. Made me feel loved and valued. I caught him staring at me like he was awestruck whenever I wasn't looking. Handled me gently and spoke highly of me to his friends whenever I wasn't around (only found out after he died). Always took great care not to hurt my feelings about sensitive topics.

Part of it was following advice on these forums and the other part was not being afraid to respond/react honestly. Being unfiltered makes men see you as more human and they value you like they value their male friends. As real people. Which is kinda low standards but I feel like most men don't see or treat women as fully human, because if you do, and you are in a relationship with her, there is no reason not to act like they are not the person you value most in the world. They should consistently choose you over everyone else. Sounds harsh but when a man is in love its what he does.

PossibleCook · 2019-12-31T19:43:28+00:00

Honestly? I didn’t really have to do anything. We clicked immediately and he pursued me from then on. I knew he was high value from the start because despite having to travel a lot when we first started talking he still stayed in touch as much as he could and brought me back little things I would mention (example: I collect mugs and mentioned that I always like the shirts they sell as souvenirs so he brought me a mug and shirt from every place he visited). It just fell into place naturally, I’ve never felt the urge to “play games” or act like I was someone that I’m not. I’ve been straight forward about my boundaries from the start and he’s respected them. I think that’s the trick, in the past I had try to make myself seem like the cool girl and go after LVM who didn’t care about me but this time I didn’t force anything and I was myself from the start. The right man will see that and love it, a low value one will try to abuse it or be intimidated by it so you have to be careful and pay attention to the little things he does and says because in the end those things show you who he truly is and how he feels about you. You also can’t invest to much time into someone, remember that you have your own life and live it. I say that only because I see to many women in relationships and they make it their whole world. In order for your relationship to be healthy you have to be as well.

lostinkyoto · 2019-12-31T21:55:23+00:00

I'm not going to tell any long personal stories, but I will share some pointers that worked for me:

I boosted my self-confidence by leveling up my appearance. I developed a skincare and hair styling routine. I had makeovers done at a few different makeup stores/kiosks to try new products and get an idea of what I liked. I leveled up my wardrobe (this doesn't have to be expensive - I've purchased nice pieces at thrift stores. The trick is to think classic and timeless). I do my own nails.
I took lessons in things I've always been curious about. I now climb, ski, and scuba. Not only is it great exercise, but I've also met interesting new people through these hobbies.
Because I had previously been very shy, I studied several books about social skills (ex. 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Andrew Carnegie, 'The Art of Mingling' by Jeanne Martinet, and 'Verbal Judo' by George J. Thompson).
With my new social skills, I keep my social calendar full. I try to attend anything I'm invited to, even if it's a birthday party for someone I've only met once. This helps broaden my social circle, and helps me create and maintain friendships. This also helps me meet men that are already known to my social group, which makes it slightly easier to vet them.
After discovering this subreddit, I spent the next several days reading as much as I could. I also read 'Why Men Love Bitches' by Sherry Argov, as recommended. I experimented with these strategies and I can say with confidence - FDS has worked for me!

EDIT to add #6. I decided what my boundaries were in a relationship and I have stuck to them. Any man who has tried to push me past them has not had my best interest in mind.

randomnickname6 · 2020-01-01T15:00:54+00:00

When I started seeing my partner I had no clue about FDS. Although, when he expressed his interest in dating me I was seeing someone else and I refused to go out with me. After getting my heart broken AGAIN by that fuckboi, I decided to give it a shot with my guy, basically as a rebound and he knew about it. Despite having sex straightaway he continued to pursue relationship with me. After few months of him asking me for serious commitment I finally saw HVM in him and said yes. I am 100% convinced that keeping him at arms lengths (unfortunately only emotionally as we had sex very early) was the factor that made him so committed to getting me. I am so grateful that I found FDS as since few months I started to applying those techniques my relationship is thriving and my man continues to show me his high value. I am completely convinced that if I would keep my pickmeisha behaviour that I had in all my previous relationship none of this would happen, as guys would always get bored with me. After educating myself from side bar and reading few books (Why men love bitches, F*ck him, Men don't love women like you) I finally understand that keeping a men in uncertainty and having high standards is KEY to 1. Keeping myself happy 2. Keeping my man happy, as he loves to chase me. I'm so happy that those techniques work, despite that I made so many mistakes at the beginning.

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