So, I've been told I'm intimidating. I'm in my own little world 95% of the time, so I don't really pay attention to it. All men do is stare, they rarely approach, and the ones that do obviously have screws loose (e.g. guy followed me around Target, random guy on the street asked me for a hug, guy staring at me and then following me out of Starbucks, etc). I didn't get why on dating apps I'd get thousands of likes and messages, but in real life, crickets. Turns out, OLD helps them grow a pair. I've since axed OLD as I don't think it's for me. Men who are forced to interact with me in real life (e.g. cashiers) stutter and end up asking/saying/doing really stupid/weird things. I have stories for days lol. I should mention that I don't see men I consider attractive all too often, I couldn't tell you the last time.

So, to my fellow intimidating ladies, how do you approach dating? I know FDS promotes not approaching men. I'm reformed, I (stupidly) took other advice in the past about intimidating women needing to "take initiative" and "give his personality a chance" or we'll end up alone. I did that one time and he was an ogling LVM with, you guessed it, self-esteem issues, who didn't know if his unappealing, boring, ass wanted me or not. I ended that real quick and I'm never doing that again. I've also been told that I need to "look more approachable." People make smiling seem like the magic cure for approachability, but no one goes through their day to day tasks smiling the whole time...and for a lot of women, smiling attracts weirdos. I know a lot of you will say, "any man who is intimidated by you is someone you don't want to be with anyway" which I agree with, but I'm still struggling to navigate. Male friends have told me that tall, attractive, well dressed women intimidate the shit out of men, and that my confidence is obvious by how I dress, and carry myself. "You look like you know you're the shit and don't have time for bullshit." True. They've told me that if they didn't know me they wouldn't approach me either. Guys on dating apps have told me that if we hadn't matched, they would never have approached me out and about.

I spent my early and mid twenties focusing on my professional life, cultivating my hobbies, doing a lot of self reflection, digging deep. I finally feel ready to date, but I'm really disappointed in, and bored with, the options. I know I'm kind, empathetic, personable, so much so that I've turned it into a career, but I also have no patience for bullshit. I enjoy my own company so much, and I know what I want in a partner, so I'm not desperately looking to date, I never have been. I get out, I take classes (yoga and painting), I spend time in coffee shops working on projects, take weekend trips to museums, etc, but again, it's just me being stared at by men I don't find attractive lol.

I want to go into 2020 armed with knowledge from you lovely ladies! So, how do you more intimidating lot get men to approach you? I'm going to try the five second flirt technique, but I want to know what you all do! For those of you who have also axed online dating, where do you meet your prospects? (work is not an option, I don't date men in my field; friends are all dating/married to LVM).