This may come off as somewhat of a rant but I need to put this out in the world:

I've let my life spiral out of control when certain events led me spiraling into a paralyzing depression. This has caused me to be mediocre in the efforts to grow in my career, let my hobbies die, and working only to keep up the bare minimum (bills).

After two years, I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of giving myself excuses, of letting the bad take me down, of wasting my time. There are many things that aren't my fault, but I do regret how I reacted to the events that led me here. "I could've been better. I could've done better." I often tell myself, and it is true but I'm not going to drown in self loathing or grief. It's time to move on.

How I'm leveling up: I've contacted my professors so they are aware of my situations. I'm investing in the things I love once again like diving and martial arts. I've always wanted to learn Russian so I enrolled in a course and reconnected with some Russian friends I had made in college. I'm also enrolling in a career-related edx course from Harvard which will help me become more valuable in my field.

I also build a work out routine and started eating right. I've been quite a passive user on this sub, watching more than interacting but I do thank FDS for giving me hope when I couldn't find any within me.

Much love to all the users and mods💕