Greg.

kisone · 2021-01-02T16:20:11+00:00

I dont agree with u on this girl . Tbh id also unmatch as this screams -entitlement , why should i jump when u say jump if im busy ? Imagine urself on his place . A guy keeps cancelling on u because he needs time u go along with it , then u have plans and suddenly he goes ‘ok drop everything im ready yo. Lets go. ‘U say sorry i cant this weekend next? And then he tells u OOOH ok!! OK! Im so disappointed 👿 what do u do?

Im speaking like this because iv been in that exact situation. I was greg .

stronger_smarter_ · 2021-01-02T17:26:42+00:00

I seem like I'm a "cut above the rest"

Search this sub for "not like other girls."

cat_lio · 2021-01-02T16:22:07+00:00

You need to read the handbook.

That being said, I understand the frustration.

Kimpractical · 2021-01-02T16:25:59+00:00

You need to read the handbook. Do not be vulnerable with men. Do not send them long paragraphs... you should be too busy doing other things because your life is already fulfilled without a man in it. Do not tell them about your anxiety, do not tell them anything personal. You are a boss and a queen and he needs to be chasing you. When you have a conversation, it needs to be about you, he’s the one that has to show his interest. If you’re not at this level yet, you need to get there before dating

pickadaisy · 2021-01-02T16:48:06+00:00

I agree with a lot of other women here. I think the biggest issue is that you’re waiting for a man to move you along to a place of comfort with dating, rather than getting there on your own (with a therapist, support, etc.). You don’t appear to be ready to date, thus why you were so easily triggered by Greg not re-arranging his schedule. (Your intuition was telling you he was inauthentic, but instead you heard your anxiety and reacted... if that makes sense.)

While I do believe a man that into you (as he claimed) would have JUMPED at the chance to see you and I do think you dodged a bullet, I don’t think the situation should have gotten so far...because you’re not ready.

Wow to his reaction, but he was also obviously love-bombing you and using your vulnerabilities against you. I perceive a HVM who meets you now to recognize you are not in a place to date, and that that’s not good enough for where he’s at in his life. Any man who doesn’t immediately recognize your situation is low value and comfortable taking advantage of you.

Does that resonate with you? How do you feel about our reaction to your post?

Pengtingcalledme · 2021-01-02T16:29:14+00:00

It's the fact that his name is Greg for me!

janetheautomaton · 2021-01-02T16:27:00+00:00

I'd decided I think we should hang out

I hope this is just the wording here. We don't hang out with men we're considering romantically. It's a date or nothing.

he responded that he promised himself he'd finish his book

Look, fair enough, we are grown-ups and we have shit to do. But it's always a bad sign when a man won't make time in an easily rearranged schedule. Especially on something that doesn't have an actual deadline (he's "trying" to get a book published, one that isn't even finished).

He didn't respond to my text saying I was disappointed.

NEVER express disappointment or anger over them not making time. Just say "cool" and stop responding, or even just don't respond.

Sorry it went down like this, but at least it happened quick and with no physical contact.

Mind you, he'd write me paragraphs about how great I seem, how I seem like I'm a "cut above the rest", and that he had the goal of a relationship in the back of his mind.

Men would lovebomb with a Walmart sheet cake if they didn't have to spend the money on it.

Delishtise · 2021-01-02T17:29:09+00:00

!!!!Read 👏 the 👏 handbook!!!!!

SO much happened here that produced red flags WAY before the ending and you could have saved yourself a LOT of pain by recognizing that and then blocking/deleting sooner.

Ex. Talking all about himself, divulging that you have anxiety (could be used against you by any LVM/NVM especially so early on), texting paragraphs (big no!), spending hours on the phone (if you agree to a 1 hour conversation, it needs to be only 1 hour whether or not you are enjoying the convo. It doesn’t benefit you to “go over” the agreed time), telling him that you hoped he would be a bit more excited to spend time with you... etc. etc.

Once you read the handbook, and you strictly adhere to it rather than picking and choosing what works for you, you realize that it is all about protecting yourself from people like this.

Also, if your anxiety around dating is very high right now, that is likely a BIG SIGN that you shouldn’t be dating and should instead be completely focusing on yourself!! Why would you date right now if it makes you feel not great?

Start a new hobby, write your own book, learn a new language. The list is endless and it’s a way to begin to empower yourself so that you won’t be anxious and too emotionally involved when the time comes to date again.

You can do this 💖

Wildestrose1988 · 2021-01-02T17:40:07+00:00

Guys like that who are super patient usually have no intention of meeting and that's why they're so patient. He legit chose a book over a date. I got pissed off when a guy I was talking to for a while went out fishing all weekend instead of trying to make plans with me. You can literally fish any other time... SMH.

Marigold-ink · 2021-01-02T18:16:45+00:00

Clearly you’re not ready to date now. Such social anxiety needs to be dealt with first in therapy. But when you are ready to date, no more of these **phone dates.**

1) They are very low effort on his part (he doesn’t even have to leave his house)

2) Hard to gauge lies because you’re not seeing his facial expression and his eyes. Direct eye contact is very important and you can’t get that face timing.

3) Only do in person dates while you get to know them. You’re getting much more non verbal info and it’s harder for them to keep up their mask.

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-01-02T16:45:09+00:00

[deleted]

ChocolateBiscuit96 · 2021-01-02T18:00:36+00:00

I can definitely relate. The dude I was talking to did something like this and was the king of future faking. But I’m glad you asked him to hang out because then you were able to see his true intentions. He was never gonna be serious. He probably would’ve been texting you for months on end with no intention of actually meeting you.

Title	Greg.
Author	reamoj05
Upvotes	0
Comments	24
Date	January 1, 2021 8:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/koin9s/greg/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/greg.352312 https://theredarchive.com/post/352312

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