How much in-between texting/communication is really realistically healthy?

themewsingone · 2019-12-02T04:20:45+00:00

This may be a little unpopular opinion and completely YMMV.

I don’t like texting everyday with a guy I’m dating, doesn’t matter how many dates we’re in. And I certainly do not like to engage in a textversation with him either. I’d rather have these conversation in person. With that said, he texts me (with me occasionally initiate a text or two) every 2-3 days. But the caveat is, every time he texts me, there’s a purpose: to set up the next date, or to confirm the next date. We pepper in some funny and flirty exchanges in there. But there’s almost always a purpose. That’s a healthy amount of texting to me.

But you may want more, like text everyday, good morning and good night texts. Check ins during the days, etc. Or you may want less. So whatever is healthy is reallllly dependent on what you are comfortable with. But the key is him trying to maintain your interest in him. He should very obviously be doing the pursuing, aka asking you out.

So TL;DR: healthy is whatever you’re comfortable with, set that boundary with him from the get go.

P.s. i only will engage in daily text banter with a guy I’m in an exclusive, committed relationship. So during the courting stage, I’m not giving him that experience or benefit.

jewdy09 · 2019-12-02T04:28:58+00:00

I love getting texts every day because it means I’m on his mind and he wants my attention. Of course, plans for the next date should be in place.

2019-12-02T23:01:44+00:00

If you tend towards needy/clingy or over-performing & overthinking in new relationships, avoid daily texting at all costs. I feel like it creates a false sense of connection with a person you hardly know. If you've gone on 3 dates, all one week apart, that's a pretty new connection. But if you've also texted non-stop in between those dates, and had super deep or serious text convos, you're going to be waaaaay more attached than is healthy for a 3-date "relationship." If you're a recovering Pick Meisha, protect yourself and say no to daily texting. You don't need to be rude or leave him on read constantly, be clear from the get-go that you're not a texter. If a guy texts you mid-day on a weekday, it's safe to text back after 6pm, explain that you were at work, and that you're not much of a texter/would rather talk in person. If he really wants to engage with you, he'll take that opportunity to set up the next date asap.

BellaStayFly · 2019-12-02T06:51:48+00:00

I think when it is that new, texting 3-4 times a week would be enough for me. However let him text you first. This is a good way to gauge if he is interested in how your life is going. And of course definitely keep in mind that you can date other people because he may be doing this as well.

a-net_ · 2019-12-02T12:36:00+00:00

I'm going for an unpopular opinion as well and I think 2-3 times per week where you have an interactive session with is OK. I had a daily texter recently and it ruined all the beauty of it.

scrimshandy · 2019-12-02T16:32:04+00:00

I despise texting for the sake of texting, even with my closest girlfriends. It’s irksome, everyone who does it is needy, and I’m a busy goddamn person. Text me when you have something to say - even the people I text “constantly” we go hours/days between replies.

However, I like texting to make plans, to talk about plans, and the typical “got home okay/had fun/let’s do it again” cute stuff, maybe something flirty or sexy, if we’re at that stage.

But miss me with that “textationship” BS. Either make plans to see me, or fuck off.

Title	How much in-between texting/communication is really realistically healthy?
Author	JuddHerpatow
Upvotes	22
Comments	8
Date	December 2, 2019 3:54 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e4t8fw/how_much_inbetween_textingcommunication_is_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-much-in-between-textingcommunication-is-really.695120 https://theredarchive.com/post/695120

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