How to get over a Situationship

PrncssGmdrp · 2020-08-27T01:11:57+00:00

Babe ❤️ okay, there is a lot to unpack here.

I know that these two live happily and harmoniously in their cotton-candy-wonderland and then there’s me, crying my eyes out

Let’s start here. I can guarantee you if he treats you that way he will eventually treat her that way. You won, girl. You are RID of his dead weight and she is foolish enough to think it’ll be different. It don’t. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. They could be miserable.

Also, comparison is not fair to you. Trust, my LVM ex husband who dumped me weeks after the wedding immediately remarried and had kids. They live a picture perfect little life on SM but I know who he is after 9 years of his bullshit. I get it. But you gotta find a way to let that go.

because I don’t have any friends left anymore

With COVID this is tough, but having social support is critical. I lost all my friends too because they were sick of me always being victim to some idiot and couldn’t take it anymore.

You have support here for now. Message any old friends who were good to you and just check in with them. Maybe y’all can get reacquainted.

It’s also okay to go out alone. Fresh air and sunlight is so good for you! Take a hike, go walk around a lake, take a day trip and go do something you’ve always wanted to do!

When COVID eases up you can join local groups for things that interest you - take a class and learn a new skill. It takes time, but when you have good platonic friends life is easier. We all need friendship.

I’ve given up on Tinder and I’m slowly giving up on Bumble too. I can’t even value myself anymore - men who write me mostly are DTF

Def take a break from dating. It’s too much bad energy. You gotta conserve that energy for YOU. Be SELFISH! When you are feeling broken you are VULNERABLE and men are not the answer, babe. Only start dating again when you are secure in your own power and energy.

) Recently I decided to get honest opinion from r/truerateme (I just deleted the post because I felt embarrassed). Well, I knew I’m not perfect, but I didn’t expect to get most scores below average. It made me feel like ugliest of all ugly people

This sub is literally an incel trap that they use to lure in vulnerable people and abuse. I guarantee you, you are the OPPOSITE of whatever they said. They are a bunch of salty losers hiding behind a keyboard. Ask yourself, is a smart well adjusted, kind person going to be using their free time to “rate” people? NOPE!

There is no easy answer but my BIGGEST tip is to identify the people, places, and things that make you feel bad. And then GET AWAY! You only have time for good. Imagine it is your friend or sister - you’d nurture and build them up, right? Time to do that for yourself!

You have got this!

IDontExist4u · 2020-08-27T04:03:07+00:00

I think the poster above hit the major points, so im just going to leave a side-note, r/truerateme is GARBAGE. I had to look, and full 10s are getting 5-8?! WHAT?! It's definitely incel garbage. Never look at that sub again.

Plus, I know we all want to be validated by our looks, but being a 10 is more than how you look. Try new hobbies,,gain new interests, you can find new social groups that way, and level up to where you dont feel the need to have strangers "rate" you

heliodrome · 2020-08-27T13:55:43+00:00

Hey, you are looking at yourself through what appears to be an incel lens? Why is that? The easiest explanation would be that someone on your past, maybe your parents never made you feel like you were enough? That would be my armchair psychologist’s assessment. I apologize if I’m off mark.

I wonder what happens if you start looking at yourself through a lens of kindness and love. What would you do and who you would be and what decisions would you make if you loved yourself?

If I may recommend a book by Kamil Ravikant - “Live Your Truth”.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2020-08-27T07:01:57+00:00

If you got a score of 4 on r/truerateme, you’re probably a total goddess. The women that post their pics on that sub are objectively beautiful, but if a commenter gives her a good score, he is accused of “white knighting” and banned. They are extremely misogynistic and have no credibility.

2020-08-27T04:34:57+00:00

You are in the right place 💕 you have been so mentally confused and manipulated by men that you are in pieces. We have all been there. I never thought I would be able to pick up all the pieces. It took a long time but I am back together now. I learned my world does not begin and end with men or even with friends. Men and friends come and go. I can’t count on them. I can rely on myself though. You are going to find your inner strength. You will have to eventually because no one will ever come and actually save you. I waited like a decade. No one is going to come who is healthy. You are the one who is going to eventually find the strength to come and pick yourself up and put yourself back together. It’s not easy. It’s a painful, lonely process. But what I learned in the years and years it took me to do it, men and friends don’t matter that much. I had to stop making my world revolve around men and friends even if those where the only thing I was interested in. I had to make my world revolve around myself. People kept coming In my life and hurting me and leaving me and rejecting me and disappointing me and using me. I’m alone a lot of the time now but I’m stable emotionally and I’m content with what I have. I have a career that matters to me and a dog. I have access to a beach and i have a couple hobbies. It’s not that I’m having the most fun of my life but I’m a lot happier now that I’m mainly alone. No one is here to abuse me. When you get away from abuse, manipulation, and just people who don’t really love you for a long enough period of time, you do start to heal. Your wounds are fresh. If I were you I would personally choose to be completely alone and just spend time taking care of myself for the next 2 years. I wouldn’t personally try to find men or friends during that time. I am whole now. I never thought I would say that. I put off putting myself together for a very long time. It takes time to heal yourself and it strength because it is a solo journey. I’m now at the point where I’m open to bringing other good people into my life but I’m very cautious because I’m scared of other people coming in and destroying me again. I do think now that I’m very protective of myself that i will be able to let only good people in and get some good relationships going when the time is right.

sexualfoodpantry · 2020-08-27T06:07:45+00:00

Decentering your life from men takes its time. It's an at least a two year process, where you spend that time doing cool things with yourself and others.

Unfortunately there is no feel better fast cure but latching on to another man, and you already know this won't work.

Title	How to get over a Situationship
Author	LeEccedentesiast
Upvotes	21
Comments	8
Date	August 26, 2020 8:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ih68ty/how_to_get_over_a_situationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-get-over-a-situationship.172530 https://theredarchive.com/post/172530

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