How to withhold FDS mentality while managing depression and anxiety?

2020-02-05T18:34:55+00:00

Okay sis this is for you. Write down some of your core values and DO NOT compromise on them even if you feel sad. Write them down and read them aloud.

I will not date a LVM no matter how lonely I feel
I will not use male attention to feel better abt myself, its not worth it.
I will refuse to take the bait of kindness and affection put out by the people who have been shitty to me
I will do this instead : <a list of activities which you can do, like cooking, or cleaning or makeup or art or sports or play mobile games or audiobooks or anything>
If the loneliness still persists I will call someone I love and who loves me, like parents, grandparents, friends, siblings.
I know I am depressed, it is hard, but ultimately inviting trash men in my life is going to make it worse. I choose healthy coping mechanisms which will not affect me in the long run.

Stay strong girl, you deserve only the best. :)

rubymood · 2020-02-05T18:50:44+00:00

i have seasonal depression and generalized anxiety. i also deal with suicidal ideation.

when i’m going through these moments, i avoid dating completely. lvm can fish out low self esteem having women with the quickness, and being taken advantage of could only exacerbate my symptoms.

you’re doing everything right (medication, doctors, etc.) and seem to be aware of you symptoms; that’s high value within itself!! i hope you don’t feel that your diagnosis makes you low value.

if i can give you any advice, it would be to focus on yourself during those tough moments. remember that dating is not necessary, and what makes you high value cannot be bestowed or taken away by a man. i understand that the loneliness gets hard, but once you’re out of that fog, you don’t want a low value loser to be a part of your clean up!

kolsen92 · 2020-02-05T20:14:54+00:00

Yes! I’ve struggled a lot with mental health issues and they got much worse after a bad breakup a few months back. I think for us it’s even more crucial we implement self care and healthy boundaries because, I’m not sure about you, but I certainly used to use men as a distraction esp during times I was struggling ... although I don’t let them know it I got attached quickly and super anxious when I like a guy, and can fall into people pleasing habits as I’m so afraid of loosing them and that natural “antidepressant.” Honestly I feel a sense of RELIEF after finding FDS, it places so much emphasis on valuing myself first and foremost and not relying on men, or anyone, for my personal happiness. To uphold the standards I know I demand and build a healthy relationship, that’s meant a break from dating for me personally and just for the time being as I know there is no rush. I’m really dedicating myself to therapy which I often skipped when I was with my boyfriend (I thought I was cured hah!) spending a ton of time with friends and building myself even when I don’t feel like it... ie exercise, studying and focusing on work. I force myself to meditate, move and do readings of whatever book I’m on daily. We are just as capable as other women who don’t struggle mentally and I try to even believe I’m happy I’ve faced these problems as I better understand myself and what I need to feel my best.... or even just function some days. Wish you luck and you aren’t alone!

_linay · 2020-02-06T00:05:57+00:00

I’m on medication for anxiety and depression. I’ve learned to understand that the negative committee in my head is just there, in my head. Not a reflection of who I am or my surroundings. Awareness that your mental health can make you vulnerable and preparing for those moments ahead of time have helped me tremendously!

I have a box of tools that I’ve prepared for those moments. 1) I treat myself kindly, as I would any friend of mine. 2) I do a purely selfish thing in the name of self care, a buy myself a nice lunch lunch or buy myself something new, nothing too expensive (or expensive if I very well feel like it) 3) I buy a candle or scented wax and funk up my space with pretty smells. 4) I outsource some chores, I literally drop off my laundry and have the laundromat do it. Anything to conserve my energy ! When I’m depressed I get so low energy, it’s ridiculous. 5) I write in my journal. I have this ritual I do every year. I buy a new journal regardless if the pages have been filled or not....it’s the way I say goodbye to the year. Anyhow, I write in it to center myself. It helps seeing things clear that otherwise are muddled by the panic attacks and depression. 6) I also do lots of face care, not sure why, just a plus that makes me feel shiny and calm lol

Anyhow this is my self care regimen that I have in place for trying moments in life. It’s helped keep me logical during break ups and disappointments.

lluviaazul · 2020-02-06T13:45:58+00:00

I’ve struggled with severe depression my entire life. What keeps me going is knowing I’m the only one that truly cares about me. At the end of the day I’m the only one that can try and make a change. Go to the gym,shower simple things like that that are really big victories. I’m the only one in control of my happiness. And some stranger (man) would only add to my struggling bad days.

jeanneeebeanneee · 2020-02-06T00:09:38+00:00

As someone who has struggled with a mental health condition and made some extremely poor choices stemming from that - step back from dating while you are actively healing. You said yourself, your mental state is influencing your standards. Love yourself and take care of yourself first. Your health and well being are a way higher priority than dating.

Deadgirl1888 · 2020-02-06T04:40:41+00:00

Go to therapy and work on your self first. Otherwise you will be an easy target for abusive men.

Title	How to withhold FDS mentality while managing depression and anxiety?
Author	jessdiee
Upvotes	83
Comments	11
Date	February 5, 2020 6:14 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ezdq8s/how_to_withhold_fds_mentality_while_managing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-withhold-fds-mentality-while-managing.683239 https://theredarchive.com/post/683239

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