I made a mistake....

CoolMelonade · 2019-12-09T00:18:21+00:00

Honestly you need to work on yourself a lot before you really start dating.

You let a lawyer of all people sweet talk you out of your panties in a single night then take you to a cheap ass pizza joint? Was the sex even good? Do you even like him?

You don’t have appropriate boundaries and even if he pursues this you’re not likely to be able to sustain it in a healthy way.

LeanOnMeMorgan · 2019-12-09T01:21:01+00:00

I mean, what's done is done. A lot of this FDS stuff takes determination and practice. This is why it's so important to guard your heart, lady. So these sort of feelings don't take up your precious time and energy. That said, don't think you value any less just because you slept with him, no man has that power over you. So what if he's a lawyer, good for him lol, don't let that cloud your judgment. Decide if you even like him as a person. Move on if you don't. Men who sound good on paper can still be incompatible. TELLING A WOMAN SHE'S BEAUTIFUL AND SMART IS NOT A PERSONALITY. If there aren't any red flags and he wants to go out again, be more prepared for the next date (don't be too eager though). There's no need to be concerned about how he is going to act, for now, be vigilant and respond accordingly when he does step out of line. Focus on YOU and what YOU'RE going to stand by from this point onward. Oh and if he brings it up, (or anything sexual), steer the conversation away to something else. If he's actually interested in you as a person and is serious, he will still put in effort to get to know you. Don't be distracted by his career, his looks or any of his sweet talk. You can surely appreciate it about him, but the ultimate prize is your happiness and security. Good luck and don't beat yourself about it. This was not a once in a lifetime opportunity lol.

Blackishcat27 · 2019-12-09T00:16:38+00:00

I mean you already slept with him. Can't undo that but as long as he keeps treating you well and making an effort there's no reason not to.

throwawway2091 · 2019-12-09T00:51:17+00:00

I think the power of his career makes you wet. Maybe it is best to surround yourself with these type of people often so you don't gush over them that quickly. Maybe have a few drinks at upscale places so you know what it is like to be around very sucessfulpeople.

I was the same way in the past, I thought OMG he is a lawyer he is so smart. Turns out he had money and a good job but a subpar dick and personaility. It is best to understand this is just another dude but has more money, really try to think what values you want in a man. Yes I know FDS says more money is better which is true, but now after you have men chasing you with lots of money decide on them which one treats you the best and which one lines up with you better when it comes to liking/dislikikng, and common stuff you like.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2019-12-09T03:41:56+00:00

It sounds like it wasn't a bad date so long as you had fun, per se, but I don't know if you should expect much from this dude even if he does want to see you again.

It's not difficult for a guy to be nice to you in the first date, or even first couple dates. But you should consider:

1) He's a Tinder guy - most dudes off Tinder are going to try to sleep with you right away (most of any guys off any OLD site, tbh)

2) He went out with you specifically for drinks. Probably because of 1

3) He kept saying you're beautiful and smart - that's the easiest compliment to give. And the fact he kept saying it kinda makes me feel he was just out to get in your pants. Did he say he liked anything else about you? Did he comment thoughtfully on anything you said during the date?

3) Can you even confirm he's a lawyer? And even if he is, it may mean he's an intelligent dude but it doesn't mean he makes money or that he's happy. One of my cousins went to an ivy league for law as an international student, and now he's making just okay money doing copyright law, he's miserable, and he drinks too much.

4) If he doesn't contact you again he's not worth your time, anyway. Don't follow up with him if he doesn't contact you.

Pizza-n-Lice · 2019-12-09T04:34:01+00:00

You didn't make a mistake, you made a choice. He said a bunch of nice things but words mean absolutely nothing. Chances are low that he will want to court you now if he already knows all the effort it takes to get with you as a complete stranger is some nice words. If you were charmed this easily, it's fair to say he gets many other women the same way.

Just forget this guy, work on sticking with your own principles, don't use alcohol as an excuse for poor decisions.

SureEmployment4 · 2019-12-09T00:23:54+00:00

The only thing you can do in this situation is wait and see how things play out. Wait for him to reach out to you. Is he making an effort to court you, or is he asking you to go over and watch Netflix for your second date? If it’s the latter, you need to make your standards clear. Let him know that even though you got carried away on the first date you are looking for a genuine connection with someone, and would prefer to get to know him more over dinner. If he’s not interested in that, then move on.

Title	I made a mistake....
Author	idekwhyimlikethis
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	December 8, 2019 10:11 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e80d6x/i_made_a_mistake/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-made-a-mistake.687267 https://theredarchive.com/post/687267

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