I began a new job about six weeks ago, I immediately gravitated to my new manager, a high value woman who takes zero shit from anyone especially men, as well as being engaged to a high value man who provides for her despite her having the income to do so on her own, cooks & cleans their home daily, supports her child from a previous marriage, & also goes as far as to provide free mechanic duties to her friends (he is a mechanic by trade). We spend eight hours a day together in close quarters just one on one, so we've been talking a lot about our personal life & I have shared my personal experience with men, specifically my most recent failed relationship.. she always lends an ear, doesn't grow tired of me lamenting about how shitty this dude was, because she realizes it is really cathartic for me. I try hard to not take advantage of this privilege, so I tend to keep my lamenting to a minimum, but she gave me a really good piece of advice.

Make a list. Make a list of the things he did wrong, literally write it down. All the times he forgot a landmark date, the times he didn't provide the support you needed, the gaslighting, mysoginy, & belittlement.. Then make a list of what you require of your next partner, & a list of what you will not put up with the next time. Solidifying your wants, needs, & expectations on paper will help to vet future partners because you now have a physical checklist of green & red flags.

I'm making that list today.